I am a serial dater. I have gone on so many dates. When I was a first-year, I made it my mission to date as many people as I could. You can find the first edition of this article from 2023 when I, bright-eyed and hopeful, ventured into the Oberlin dating scene.
I am older now, seasoned, you could say. I’ve discarded my rose-colored glasses. But that doesn’t mean I don’t still have some great advice for you prospective lovers. Here’s some more date spots around Oberlin, ranked in accordance to money and quality. Enjoy.
#1
The Feve - $$ - ★★
The Feve––it’s a classic and for a reason. The Feve is Oberlin’s local bar, and it’s a great place to grab a cheap drink, an expensive burger, and wait fifty minutes for your food to come. It’s bound to be loud, so you’ll have to speak up if you want to be heard. Alternatively, you could people watch and not talk at all.
But let’s say the date isn’t that serious. Maybe it’s just drinks at the Feve. If so, you’ll have a great time. What bad date can’t be fixed with alcohol? The only problem is that when you leave with your date, everyone and their mom will see you leaving together. Picture that scene in Crazy Rich Asians––that’s you and your date.
#2
The Local - $ - ★★
The Local is Slow Train Cafe’s little cousin. The Local is quiet, intimate, and often less crowded than Slow Train. You’ll pay six dollars for a drink, but you’ll be forced to make eye contact. Unless you’re facing the stairs on the way into the cafe, the people-watching is bleak. Too many people bring their laptops and work to enjoy a truly dissociative experience.
Unlike the Feve, you probably won’t run into as many people you know. Also unlike the Feve, it’s quiet and private. If the date doesn’t go well, you’ll have better luck just thugging it out than trying to make a sneak exit.
#3
Apollo Theatre - $ - ★★★
The Apollo Theatre is our local theatre! Who would have thought? It’s cute and small, and snacks are cheap. You’ll get a paper ticket (so old-fashioned and chic! perfect for your junk journal!) at the snack counter, and then you’ll watch a movie like Challengers or something from the 1950s. You can’t make out in the Apollo. It’s too small. If you do, there would probably be like six people watching you.
Nevertheless, it’s a good time, and on your way home, you can discuss whatever movie you watched. A movie is good if you aren’t sure about the date. It’s also good if you are my roommate and love Challengers so much you can name each song on the soundtrack (shoutout, Anna).
#4
Co-Op Dinner - $ - ★
Oh, God. You thought it couldn’t get worse, well, it can. You’re dating someone in a cooperative. It’s not ideal. They invite you to a co-op dinner, and you figure it can’t be bad. The food is fine, but you have to wait in a line. Maybe you miss Stevenson Dining Hall––you drank the Kool-Aid. You finally serve yourself on a blue blate (bowl-plate), and then you sit down on the floor next to your date. Everyone knows your date. You feel simultaneously stupid and pretentious. You leave, thinking you’ll never go on a date with them again––except they invite you out for drinks at the Feve later. It wasn’t so bad, you reason. You might not ever have to do it again.
#5
Jazz Performance - $ - ★★★
Option one: you are dating a jazz player. My advice? Good luck. Get out while you can. My second piece of advice? Go to every jazz performance. Your date looks fantastic in their concert outfit (which is only rarely concert black), and watching them, you feel superior. You’ll go up to them after the performance, and they’ll complain about the band, and you’ll tell all of your friends about the jazz concert later.
Option two: your date likes jazz music. You think this is good––it’s a classy date. Wrong. You go to the concert, and there’s the bassist. He’s cute, really cute. Now, you’re with your date at a jazz concert, and you think the bassist is cute. After the concert, you and your date walk home together, and you realize you didn’t have a half-bad time. Sure, your date doesn’t play an instrument, but it could work out.
Well, it never would have worked with the bassist anyways.
