If you’re a first-year at Oberlin, or just someone who’s been keeping to yourself lately, this one’s for you.
My first semester, I had a plan. I figured that if I stayed in my dorm and spent my time alone with my thoughts, I’d be fully locked in and could focus on doing everything right. It made sense to me at the time, and honestly, a little quiet time is great.
But little by little, I realized something was missing, and it was people. I had friends. I was on the track team, I saw familiar faces around, and I’d say hi in passing. But I was barely leaving my room, and I wasn’t really spending time with anyone. Staying in is so easy, and it feels fine each time you do it. Before you know it, it’s your routine. If that sounds familiar, I promise you’re not the only one.
What helped was a small change. I started studying somewhere other than my dorm. I tried Mudd, beginning on the third floor, then the second, and eventually the first floor, where there’s real energy and people all around. Nobody had to talk to me for it to work. Just knowing that other people were right there, working through the same things, struggling, focusing, and definitely laughing their struggles away, made everything feel lighter. I got my work done, and I actually enjoyed it.
That’s when it clicked for me. We’re made to be around each other. A simple “hey, what’s up” or “good morning” to someone you don’t even know can brighten both your day and theirs. And I learned that the people around you need you too. You might be the reason someone’s day gets a little better.
The best balance I’ve found is some time to focus and some time to enjoy the people around you. Both matter, and they work better together.
If you’re feeling stuck, here’s what I’d tell a friend:
Step a little outside your comfort zone. Taking your work to the library is a bit uncomfortable for about five minutes, and after that it makes your days easier and a lot more fun.
Be kind to yourself. Many of life’s simplest problems come from being alone too long and not feeling happy, so it doesn’t mean you’re doing anything wrong. It just means you could use some company.
Take a breath, talk to a friend, and take a break. You deserve it, and it will help you do your best work.
I’m so glad I came out of my room. If you ever see me in Mudd, please come say hi. You’re always welcome to sit with me, and I’d love to meet you.
