College decisions are slowly coming out and the end of college applications and decisions are in sight. With this comes a break from the stresses of waiting, and the excitement of getting ready for college can begin! Of course there are some anxieties as you begin thinking about the start of college, but for me it was a much appreciated break from writing essays and making endless decisions. This being said, once I knew that I was going to Oberlin my head immediately turned to thinking about packing, classes, and of course, making friends.
This is something that students universally think about, whether from a perspective of excitement or anxiety. I wanted to write a brief blog about how I made friends at Oberlin, and the unexpected ways that friendships manifested for me.
To start with, go outside of your comfort zone! I’m an extrovert by nature but I’ve never been in a situation where I purposefully introduce myself to everyone around me. Whether I was at an orientation event, the president's address, or even the hallway of my dorm, I pushed myself outside of my comfort zone by saying hi to nearly everyone I came across. Sure, you’ll hear the same questions over and over again; What’s your name? What do you want to major in? What dorm do you live in? But honestly, the familiarity of this conversation made talking to all sorts of different people feel more fun than stressful. So, in short, don’t be afraid to start conversations with everyone around you. Not all of those conversations will turn into friendships, but the few that do will make your first year at college so meaningful.
Another common misconception is the myth of ‘too many friends.’ This is a belief that steers many students away from socializing with individuals that already appear to have many stable friendships. However, just because someone is already in the process of forming friendships, or seems to have strong friendships, doesn’t mean they aren’t looking for more! I’ve been lucky enough to find friends and meaningful connections in every year I’ve been at Oberlin and look forward to making more next semester.
What I mean by this is don’t be deterred from forming a friendship with people that already have friendships. Likewise, don’t expect your freshman friends to be your only friends throughout college, or especially the friend group that will last you through college. Short term friendships are okay and normal, and so are long term friendships. Both are crucial to your college experience! I know this sounds cheesy, but I just want to make sure that students aren’t afraid to put themselves out there.
My last tip is that oftentimes friendships can be found in the most unexpected places! In high school most friends came from shared classes, so I expected the same in college. However, what I discovered was actually that the vast majority of the friendships I’ve made have been from clubs, events, introductions, research, or work. This isn't to say you don’t make friends in your classes (you most certainly do), but rather to encourage you to get as involved in Oberlin's campus as you can. Not only will it help you get the most out of college, but it will also be a primary source for some of the best relationships you’ll ever have.
I hope this blog helped to ease some of your nerves about making friends at Oberlin, and instead maybe even gets you excited as you start to think about the many outlets for friendship on campus. Not only are you going to make a plethora of friends at Oberlin, but I have no doubt you yourself will be a very valuable friend to so many people here.
