Oberlin Blogs

The Mystery

March 30, 2012

Ruby Turok-Squire ’16

Seeing as it's spring break, I thought I'd try to get some clean clothes together. It's got to that point where I really, really can't put it off any longer.


Hmm, is this what's supposed to happen?

No, definitely not. Where are my clothes??

There they are!

What went wrong? Did I use bubble-bath? Should I sue 'Tide'? If you can solve the mystery, I would love to know.

Notice the lovely Kahn Hall washing machines - everything's lovely and clean and spiffing in this dorm. Only problem is, I'm really spoiled now and when we get kicked out next year into other dorms I'll be like, where's my private bathroom?!

I thought I'd try my physics textbook for some advice. Surely, it would have something to say on the matter - how the world works, and all that. So I had a skim through and came up with:

He looks - well, just as confused as me. Love the moustache!


Great! I really want to try that some day. But still no insight on exploding washing machines. Oh dear, where is this liberal arts thing taking me? I may know how many types of microphones there are in the world, but I can't actually dress myself! Guess the laundry's coming home with me.

So whenever you're feeling a bit like you can't do anything, just take a look at this:

I grabbed my clothes and ran in shame back to Canada. Actually, I galloped here on a moose, so it took me a few days, but the clothes dried out nicely in the breeze.

I thought I missed having a cinema in Oberlin, but now that I'm back in a town that has one, I just want it to go away! Every film seems to be exactly the same, and mind-numbingly bad. Time for a rant. (I'm English and seem unable to contradict the stereotype today.)

Here's the biggest mystery of all: The Hunger Games. What a disgusting excuse for a brand. People say it's making some great socio-political statement, but I say that's just how they try to justify their enjoyment of such a sick idea. It's children murdering children - in graphic detail! Why?! If you want a real story in this genre, read Lord of the Flies, Brave New World (my fave), Cuckoo's Nest - you get the idea. The Hunger Games is entirely different, because it's full of gratuitous violence. I cannot believe that anyone would enjoy this, let alone twelve-year-olds! God knows how desensitized they must be. Well, each to their own...if you enjoy five word sentences, read the book, and if you enjoy forgetting all morality, see the movie. But I walked out.

End of rant. And on that note, thank goodness Oberlin is an anomaly in the USA. It's the only reason I can live here!

Responses to this Entry

Fun post. Bring back animal featurette!

Posted by: Anonymous on March 30, 2012 4:45 PM

It's coming, don't you worry...

Posted by: Ruby Turok-Squire '16 on March 30, 2012 5:51 PM

I would like to register an objection to the notion that short sentences are inherently worse than long sentences, or in any other way indicative of a book's quality.

Posted by: Ernest Hemingway on March 30, 2012 6:50 PM

I would like to bring to your attention the fact that your objection comes in the form of one sentence, consisting of exactly 29 words. Hypocrite, much?

P.S. Can I get an autograph? :)

Posted by: Ruby Turok-Squire '16 on March 30, 2012 9:43 PM

Sorry. Too dead.

Posted by: Ernest Hemingway on March 31, 2012 12:08 PM

Can't decide whether I'm more amused by the post or the comments.

Posted by: Ida on April 1, 2012 5:13 PM

But seriously, Ernest, surely you can solve the mystery of the washing machine? Oh my god, was it your ghost that did this?

Posted by: Ruby Turok-Squire '16 on April 1, 2012 5:33 PM

If I were to venture a guess... I think your washing machine might be possessed by Ernest's ghost.

But for real: I think Kahn Hall has high-efficiency washing machines, which require a different laundry detergent (different amount? Different concentration? Not quite sure...) than usual. Ask your RA! I'm sure they know what's up.

Posted by: Ma'ayan on April 4, 2012 11:08 AM

An awful lot of us had those moustaches in the 70s

Posted by: Ex-clone on April 6, 2012 5:22 PM

I'm going to be a first year this Fall and am trying to pick housing. I have a few questions.
You mentioned private bathrooms. Does Kahn really have private bathrooms? As in, within the dorm rooms? I've never heard it mentioned before...

How is Kahn in terms of community compared to the other dorms? Do the people tend to be a different type? (If so, what is the difference?More environmentally/socially conscious?)

Is Kahn really more comfortable to live in than the other dorms?

Also, I haven't visited it, but it seems like it's kind of far away from things (like the Con). Is this a problem?

Thanks so much!!

Posted by: A on May 15, 2012 9:50 PM

Hi A!
I don't think that any of the dorms here have en-suites, but in Kahn, in addition to the toilet and shower stalls, we have one 'private bathroom' per floor, which means you can go in and lock the door and there's one sink, shower and toilet. It's nice to have a bit more privacy sometimes and not have to do such a mad dash out when you forget your shampoo!
Loads of people in Kahn are very environmentally conscious. Most of us help with the composting of rubbish on our floor, and there are lots of eco-friendly events and awareness projects that we are encouraged to get involved in. Kahn has better facilities for things like composting and saving energy than some other dorms - although it's not clear if we are actually the most energy efficient dorm.
Kahn is very comfortable to live in, compared to the two other first year dorms (Barrows and Dascomb). We have air conditioning and heating in each room, non-carpeted floors (which means less strange smells) and newer furniture. But the other two have benefits: Dascomb has a dining hall on its first floor, for example. Often, people care more about the sense of community than the actual place they are living in too, but this is a hard one to predict before you're here, beyond saying that, if you're living in a first-year dorm, you'll be surrounded by many people who are in the same boat as you and will be really keen to make friends with you! (Though it's never hard to make friends here.)
In Oberlin, practically everything is 100 yards away from you, no matter where you're standing! It takes me one minute to cycle to the con and under 5 to walk - it's just the other side of Tappan Square from us. Also, Kahn is right next to Stevenson Dining Hall, which is very convenient on a Sunday morning!
Hope that helps - let me know if you have more questions :)

Posted by: Ruby Turok-Squire '16 on May 18, 2012 11:18 PM

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