Oberlin Blogs

A rather belated post about a very important mission

October 31, 2009

Zoe McLaughlin ’11

Mission: Get Zoë home for fall break

Plan A: A proposal is made by the subject's biochemistry TA. He lives in Rochester and can take her back. If not, he knows someone else who can. She agrees.

Plan B: A proposal is made by the subject's biochemistry study buddy, who knows a bunch of people going to Eastman for cello lessons. They can take her.

What actually happens: Plan A fails. The subject's TA is going to Washington D.C. first. The other person he knows is leaving during her lab. She can't skip lab.

Plan B fails. The subject won't be able to fit in the car because the cellos were not taken into account. Cellos are clearly more important than the mission.

Cue panic. There are only five days left in which a foolproof plan must be implemented. Further proposals are brought to the table.

Option A: The bus

Pros: Reasonable departure time, lovably sketchy clientele, familiar mode of transport

Cons: Pricey, lovably sketchy clientele, potentially sub-par drivers leading to an almost certainly late arrival time

Option B: Using the classifieds

Pros: Actually not too sketchy

Cons: Could easily fall through, see Plans A and B, hard to arrange this late

Option C: The train

Pros: Romantic form of travel, likely to arrive on time, no transfers

Cons: Unreasonable departure time (5:20 AM), possibility of bindlestiffs

Option D: Hitchhiking

Pros: You just keep going east until you get there

Cons: Parents would not approve due to possibility of never making it back

The miracle: One of the awesome freshmen who lives on the subject's hall said, "I can take you to Cleveland at three in the morning." Promises about first born children, true names, etc. are made.

Conclusion: The subject purchases a bus ticket and makes it through the rest of the week, dodging ninjas and other assorted dangers. Early Saturday morning the awesome freshman's mother arrives and picks up both the subject and the awesome freshman, taking the subject to the train station and the awesome freshman home. The station is unlocked, so the subject does not repeat her cousin's signature move of get to the train station on time, discover it locked, and miss the train. She manages to get on the train and off to Rochester with no further problems.


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