Oberlin Blogs

Professors Say the Funniest Things

December 17, 2011

Title says it all.

Below is a list of real life professor quotes from my first semester at Oberlin. Let me say, though, that these were all jokes, and meant as jokes. None of what follows reflects upon how academically challenging my classes are, or how supportive and kind my teachers are. It just shows a bit of their fun side. And if a class is fun, you'll look forward to it, be motivated by it and end up learning a lot more from it. So enjoy!

Do you know what day it is today? It's September 23rd, the day that Frodo and Sam set out on their journey to destroy the Ring. Music Theory

Let's contrast this with a squirrel. Philosophy

Who wants a chocolate biscuit? Classics

Someone's head is leaking. Music Theory

It's a C, see? Composition

What you want, what you want - I've got it. Music Theory

I'm easily bribed. Presents can be left in my office. Classics

Sense making? Questions having? Ongoing let us. Be. Music Theory

(Upon looking at a piece I'd written): As Schoenberg said, a composer's best tool is the eraser. Composition

What is the plural of cow? Kine, of course. Music Theory

I wouldn't want to live in a virtual reality, even if it was a really fun one, like Zelda. Philosophy

This time, it's Purcellnal. Music Theory

I'm going to do something that I hope will confuse you. Composition

When a miner falls down a mine-shaft, what key do you get? A flat minor. You guessed it - Music Theory

There may be a meaning of life, but I don't know what it is! Philosophy

Tongue in cheek, in what sense? Whose tongue is in what cheek? Classics

What are you doing if you compose 12-tone counterpoint? You're putting your dux in a row. Composition (this is a really, really music geeky one - sorry.)

In a past life, I was a failed comedian. In this life, I am a successful comedian. Music Theory

Overall, hello. Never let anyone maintain that I'm a linear thinker. Composition

What the heck was going on with all those nuns? Philosophy

Stop smiling. It's time to learn. Music Theory

So, in between being dead intellectual and serious, we get these little rays of sunshine. Not that the rest of the lesson isn't sunny too, but you know what I mean. It's kind of like realising that you're eating a raspberry jelly bean when you were expecting a plain old red apple one. Life just gets better. Also, Knowledge + Funny = Power^2. My profs have really got me under the thumb. And if there's one thing they are not, it's crusty fusty academics. Thank god.

But I've got to give you the other side of the story. Here's an example of the frustrating side of profs: grading. In one class, I have consistently been given the same grade, and very similar comments, on three papers over the course of this semester. Each time, I tried extra eeextra hard to improve in the ways that he had suggested, went to office hours for advice, and each time, apparently, failed. I am currently busy banging my head against a wall, in between comfort bingeing on dried fruit and bananas. But I did enjoy the comment saying that my latest essay made him 'dizzy'. I take that fully as a compliment.

My inner apple, upon hearing that its intellectual efforts had been for nothing.

A student said to me the other day that what you actually learn to do at college is learn what your professors want you to do. She may have a point! But let's not be cynical. I'm still an optimistic, excitable first-year. The complaining can wait. All of my profs are mega helpful, if sometimes cryptic. There so should be a major in 'Professor Interpretation Studies' - I need it.

Plus, I take this all far too seriously. Because sure, a little subjectivity creeps in here and there - nobody's perfect, right?

The moral of the story here is: Grades Schmades!

Turn that frown upside down and stick a plastic spoon in it. After all, it's almost Christmas! Mmm, orange peel hair. I guess I should actually do some work now...

An exciting thing happened today. It snowed!! Oberlin - snow?! To be honest, I thought I'd be drowning in it by now, but no such luck. Sod that global warming.


OK, it's pretty pathetic. But still! Narnia is one step closer!

To all those international prospies scared about the severe weather at Oberlin: this is your answer.

Let's continue the incoherence of this post with some extra-curricular entertainment, courtesy of Music Theory 101. We actually watched these in class. I'm not even lying.

It's finals week, guys - we're allowed to procrastinate. So finally, on the 'animals do the funniest things' theme (woops, have just realised this may only be a UK TV show. Oh well) - here's a recent headline from Scotland. 'Story of the day': see, we Brits have our priorities sorted out.


Happy Christmas everyone!!

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Responses to this Entry

Okkk this made my week. Thanks for sharing!

Posted by: Simba on December 18, 2011 10:30 AM

This is great Ruby! hahahah
I love it. Nice apple :P

Posted by: Hannah on December 18, 2011 12:27 PM

I love professor quotes. I sincerely hope you do this every single semester :D

I'm interested to see what your blog posts turn into in March, when we have winter storms. Tee hee. It's gonna be great!

Posted by: Ma'ayan on December 18, 2011 12:39 PM

Thanks guys! Yep Hannah, that apple is what late night cramming does to me! I know Ma'ayan, I've been noting them down in class for ages! While taking notes on the lecture, of course...Expect snowball fights in March. :D

Posted by: Ruby Turok-Squire '16 on December 18, 2011 12:58 PM

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