Finally, this year is over! Not to say it was unenjoyable by any stretch, but it was definitely overwhelming at times. My first year of college was also stressful (because no one can go to Oberlin and not feel overworked) but it was a manageable stress. I always felt like I understood the material in class, got good grades, and had ample free time. I can say this without bragging because that was not the case this go-round. Sophomore year was the first time that I really had to deal with the challenging academics of college. The first time I got a bad grade on an assignment. The first time I continued to get bad grades on assignments. The first time I dropped a class.
I've also been dealing with what I see as possibly an increase in my anxiety levels. Years ago, I went to a therapist one time who said I had generalized anxiety disorder. I didn't believe her (because at the time, I didn't see it in my life). Also I didn't understand how I could be diagnosed with anything after just half an hour. Now I'm thinking she was right, and I'm eager to see what my therapist says. The reason I wanted to share this with y'all was because I think it is important to destigmatize mental health struggles and that starts by talking about it.
I also kind of figured out how much I love writing through these blogs. I've always seen myself as being some kind of an author, since I was about seven and I tried to write my own Harry Potter book, despite not having read any of them at the time. I've long written sad poetry in my personal journals and started on countless stories and screenplays that I never finish. At some point at Oberlin, I figured I would take a creative writing class because I didn't realize that there is more than one kind of way to be a writer. Now I've realized that I don't like fiction. I'm looking forward to using this discovery in my next years at Oberlin. Despite the lack of a journalism department, Oberlin has produced an impressive amount of people working in the field. Maybe I'll be one of them in the future?
I'm very much looking forward to the summer. In a few days, I am leaving for a trip to both China and Japan. I have never been to either place, and I am PUMPED. When I get back, I'll go to a conference in DC with my fellow blogger and SURF-er Kira, and then work most of the summer.
Anyways, although this year put me through a lot, I got through it with the help of these fine people, places, and things
- My parents. Obviously.
- My friends, both at Oberlin and afar. Whether in person or through text, y'all never failed to provide me with laughs and a sympathetic ear.
- My extended Ohio family, for being there.
- Iced vanilla lattes.
- That one lady at Azariah's who always makes my iced vanilla latte.
- The staff at the Local, for also making me my iced vanilla lattes.
- Cashews, for being a solid study snack. I will continue to eat them even though my facialist advised against it.
- Those Wheat Thin veggie chips I always got from various vending machines on campus, for making me feel like I was eating a "healthy snack."
- Students United for Reproductive Freedom, for going through some tough times, and emerging as a truly warm and welcoming place to be.
- Dolly Parton's "Hard Candy Christmas," for being my go-to song to cry to.
- The music video to "Wuthering Heights" by Kate Bush. Whenever I'm feeling down, I watch it and copy the dance moves.
- The LA city bus driver, for taking a chance on an unknown kid. The wonderful crew at McDonald's for spending hours making those Egg McMuffins.*
- The blogging community, for being your smart and charming selves. I'm honored to be in your company.
- Everyone who helped me out during finals week! It was a Huge Struggle, but I made it through.
- And last but not least, anyone who has read anything I've written on here. It's been a really good place for me to express myself and develop my skills, and I'm truly #blessed to have this opportunity.
*This is nothing I'm actually grateful for, I just will never pass up an opportunity to slip a Clueless reference into my writing
Leave a Comment