Vic's Offers True Escape From the Oberlin Bubble

Getting outside the bubble in Oberlin is all about educating oneself about the glories of North-Eastern Ohio's rich and distinctive culture. Some Oberlin students have been known to impart an afternoon stroll along the shimmering banks of Lake Erie. Others prefer a visit to Severence Hall to enjoy the world famous Cleveland Orchestra. Unfortunately most activities that are suited to the upper echelon of Oberlin's culturally elite do not fully bring into picture the unique slice of Americana that Lorian County has to offer. Attempting to get down in the would-be trenches of our "hood" brought us to the a hot night spot not so far from home: Vic's Night Club in Elyria for the weekly "Wet Breast Contest."

Much like the early explorers in any foreign land, the gem of Vic's Night Club was happened on almost by accident, as it is located above the famous downtown billiard pub, Rack 'n Roll. Much like the experiences of the early pioneers as well, we felt a slight tinge of trepidation that would encroach upon the hearts of any potential "outsider." But a key element in the assertion of most real discoveries has to do with the courage involved in leaving the scope of one's familiar territory, and any night at Vic's is most definitely a night that must include more than a small amount of courage.

But if courage is strongly encouraged, an open mind is a must. Though the title "Wet Breast Contest" might immediately send the most politically correct reeling, the most simple lesson that Oberlin's diverse community can teach is that of acceptance. The facts of the evenings events were this: there were six female contestants, three bar fights and every mind numbing danceable pop hit on the radio dial. And though conservatives might question the larger ethical and societal questions that such a display of carnal objectification and plain-faced lust may carry with it, the fact of the matter is that every one of the six contestants was there by their own volition, and much like the (overwhelmingly female) crowd, were only there to have a good time and express, in public, their radical ideas of sexuality.

Perhaps the most impressive expression of sexuality was displayed in the attire of Vic's patrons. It was not uncommon to see young men and women alike donning the rich "mullet" style plumage, worn for sexual display to represent a sense of allegiance to the mid-'80s hey-day of their home, when Elyria was a booming center of commerce. This fashionable retro style did not solely dominate the dance floor, and though the rules of "Uncle" Vic's prohibit "torn or dirty clothes, gang colors, backwards hats, or other inappropriate attire" the "jumpin' place" had more than its share of young men and ladies dressed to impress.

But this was a weak precursor to the contest itself. In short, the contest was fueled on beer, Britney Spears, and wet, wet breasts. If you don't think this could take place in Oberlin, then you're right. But every Wednesday night when the ladies start dancing in their Daisy Dukes and cut-off white t-shirts, Vic's comes alive.

If you have never been to such an event, picture a high school dance with bigger, scarier people who just want to get in a fight, smoke Marlboro Lights, and get some "action." But not just anybody can leave the bar with the title of "Best Wet Breasts." It takes a very special woman: one who can dance, touch herself, shake her chest at the crowd and sexually arouse a bunch of guys who are sexually aroused by anything that moves, even muscle cars.

The competition was more heated than a hot rod Camero, and the tension in the air could be cut by a knife. Unable to handle the heat, two fairly large members of the audience started a would-be "rumble." If it weren't for a team of burger-for-breakfast bouncers (one of whom bore a striking resemblance to the highwayman) things might have gotten "ill." And after little more than a few highly charge euphemisms, everything was once again "chill."

When asked about the nature of violence in the bar, bartender Jodi was quoted as saying: "Fights suck."

There is little to say about the contest itself that the simple equation of water + white t-shirts can't bring to mind. The winner, Rebecca, won by a slim margin over Jacki, and if it weren't for her knee high boots, collection of love-tattoos and a spasm of furious "booty slapping" it may have come down to a mud wrestling bout.

When the evening came to a close, the character of the room was best summed up by a man who called himself "Sleazy B," who reported that Vic's was a place where "Everyone has fun, gets drunk, and, if they're lucky, finds a nice ho to go home with."

In short, Vic's offers a side of local life to which many Oberlin students may never other wise be exposed. Ladies, if you are feeling the urge to get "a little jiggy" yourselves, let it be known that Vic's will turn the tables on Mother's Day weekend with the "Body Blast," where ten guys will bring the "hot stud action."

When all was said and done, Vic's provided a night of entertainment that literally sent all parties home wet.