Take A Guess As To Meaning

To the Editors:

I am constantly appalled by the lack of indiscriminate word-shuffling in today’s mainstream arteries. Lucco Brazzi once said that “[w]hat I am is not your business, but I’ll accept your offer.” Don’t think that I’m trying to build on the foundation he left by criticizing your extract, though. Filth is what they stand for; filth they shall sow. Every attempt at this kind of denaturalization of our pedal-depressed, pan-chromatic resonance is just a further modification of the Gestalt.
However, seeking a goal is only a step towards the highly ambient domains. Pondering the significance of protocol and short-person behavior is the more effective antidote. What do you suppose this means? It is my humble opinion that it can only be explained through exhaustive analysis and shock therapy (which reminds me: I’m late for my appointment). Bin Laden spilled ointment in Poughkeepsie, and God wept. Ointment oinks in Oyster Bay, Minnesota, where Ollie and Ojus clean pills. My hair is overrun with pigs and ponies, which are a poor substitute for smoke.
Sack a Jacobean jellybean and watch the nationalism base itself in the smoke. Paranoid, dark waters flush in queens and Kansas: the solution of the Evelynian Paradox of Gravy Lumps is self-evident here. Extracts and godfathers dance in Greece, while China paints in dazzling pan-chromaticisms. Persians moderate the festivities, while Burroughs flees to the other end.
Not being a double-degree student, I am a witness to numerous, flagging stones of the chrome dinettes. A wiser man than myself once said, “I am the Chrome Dinette,” but he looked like a genocidal gang-rapist with no teeth. He was speaking German, no less. Protesting the conditions of the short-person behavior-exhibitors, I took a moment to assess the word-shuffling geniuses of our fine near-miss. What am I saying? Oh yes, that genocidal gang-rapists are overrunning our schools, and all of them come from . Make up your own tune to this letter.

–S. Andrew Smith
Conservatory senior