To the Editor:
I am writing on behalf of the Almighty Queen Chita who is too busy negotiating future joint performances with Ru-you-know-who to pick up a pen.
The Queen is not pleased with the fact that she broke a 6-inch heel in an unflattering fit of fury upon reading last week's so-called "article" on the Ball. Tuesday, April 9, 1996 the Queen took 21 minutes, 33 seconds out of her ever-so-hectic, glamorous lifestyle to bestow your Arts writer Ms. Rusin with numerous gems and secrets about the Ball and the Queen's priceless beauty formula. After taking seemingly dubious notes during the conference Ms. Rusin, much to the Queen's astonishment, managed to write a pathetic, twinkie-breathed, Lee-press-on, phoney-to-the-core, pre-K, blue-light-special, half-baked, mis-informed piece of journalisitc poo.
(a).Ms. Yuli Hsu, college junior, co-created the Queen's fabulous frock.
(b).Mr. Peter Sciscioli did NOT pick the Queen's wedgies.
(c).The Queen does not get wedgies.
(d).The King and the Royal Court who were awarded at the Ball have star-studded lives too. Interview them!!
The Queen requests the Review's deepest, PUBLISHED apologies and the replacement of her 6-inch red patent leather pumps in the form of a certified bank check in the amount of $89.53 made out to Frederick's of Hollywood.
Copyright © 1996, The Oberlin Review.
Volume 124, Number 21; April 19, 1996
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