There’s only one problem I’ve discovered about Oberlin College since I came here: It’s not located in my home state of California. I first realized this when my parents dropped me off at an airport instead of a college.

Seriously, California has an amazing school system. Ninety-seven percent of my high school class fed into the state system — the other three percent suffered temporary insanity and chose to leave for better states like Kentucky and New York. And yes, Ohio.

Being California-bred, I’ve spent most of my winters tanning on the beach with movie stars (sitting in my bedroom watching it rain), but this winter has been slightly different for me. The first time it snowed, I leaned my head back and attempted to catch a snowflake on my tongue. Instead, I got a snowflake up my nose. That should have been a warning to me that things weren’t going to go as I had hoped.

I had been warned of the harsh Ohio winters. But I figured they couldn’t be all that bad, right? What’s a couple months of snow in the long run? Well, here’s the Catch-22 (did I just use that phrase correctly? I’ve never really gotten it, but I’ve always wanted to use it).

It’s the end of February and, lo and behold, there’s still snow. No, really, someone go ahead and explain this to me if you have an explanation. Because a year ago right now, I was on my back deck in a bathing suit, starting on my tan.

So I’m learning to adjust. The temperature hit 40 the other day and I whipped out my flip-flops in excitement. I called my mother and told her that spring had finally arrived. Then I opened the blinds the next morning to a world of white.

This is something that would never occur in California. We don’t have temperature drops of 50 million degrees in the span of 13 seconds. We also don’t have snow or smoking in restaurants. (That last one doesn’t really relate, but it pisses me off.)

But let’s get down to the question you’re all asking yourselves: “Kelsey, a.k.a. the most beautiful girl ever, do you feel at home in Oberlin, despite the negative temperatures and the fact that there are no hills anywhere?”

Here’s the answer: I don’t really know where my home is. Or where I am. Or where my cell phone is. I don’t understand how it can possibly be this cold. And I definitely do not understand how one day it can be 50 degrees outside and the next day there can be small pieces of very sharp ice penetrating their way into your face.

But I know one thing: Home is where the heart is.

Aww (or eww). Everyone take a moment to relish in that line. Home is where the heart is. That’s something I’ve always been a little thrown off by because, well, my heart has never left my body. Personally, I like to classify it as a vital organ that keeps me alive. Therefore, I am sure to keep it with me at all times.

So, yes, in answer to your question, Brad Pitt, I am single and I will go out with you. Oh, and to that other thing — also yes. I have found home here. No matter how cliché, home is where the heart is, and while Oberlin may have a few more icicles than my last home did, it has my heart as well.

As does Brad Pitt. Seriously. Ditch Angelina. I’m at Oberlin College in northern Ohio — my new, freaking cold-as-hell home.