Well, jocks, compulsive gamblers and all others who need something to read after a CDS luncheon, it’s that time of year again, and no, I am not talking about your showering habits. That’s right, Sunshine, you guessed it, it’s March Madness!

Now before you go running to that crappy sports network everybody loves so much and lose all that extra “book money” your parents sent you, why don’t you listen to me. I have come from a magical forest to bring you future events that only I have seen.

So before you turn the page to the obituaries let me begin this series of revelations with “Part 1: Conference Craziness”.

As with most things, let us begin with the amazing ACC. My year has been made better because the Duke Blue Devils are having what many would consider an “off year.” Sure, they will still go to the tournament and heck, they just might even make the sweet 16 or elite eight, but in-conference play is just not looking good for Coach K.

So who will win the prized ACC? Well, kids, none other than Roy Boy and the UNC Tarheels. Sure, they lost to Wake Forest, but Wake lost to FSU and anyone who does that doesn’t deserve a conference title.

Moving on to two more conferences in search of their piece of the NCAA sweet blueberry pie: the Big Ten and the Big 12. The undefeated Illini will lose, this much I can say. When and where I do not know. A little hummingbird hummed to me to look for Illinois to lose in the conference tourney, and watch out for the Spartans of Michigan State. The Big 12 on the other hand should find a champion in the shape of an Oklahoma State Cowboy riding in on a Jayhawk from Kansas.

On either coast of this beautiful nation we have very heated battles over the Big East and the Pac-10. While the Arizona Wildcats should maul their conference to pieces, the Boston College Eagles are beginning to lose altitude. Two weeks ago the Eagles were soaring with a number one bid whispering in the wind, but since have hit some turbulence, losing three of their last six games. As I received word from an old oak tree, look for the UConn Huskies to deal a final blow to the Eagles and go home kings of the Big East forest. And for all you New Yorkers, sorry but orange is out of style this season.

Wrapping up the large wooded areas, I go to the southern woods of the SEC which look to be controlled by the Kentucky Wildcats. However, the LSU Tigers are looking pretty good and if the swamp master Gators can beat the Cats in the eastern bracket, the Tigers could be SEC grrrrreats. The Utes in Utah have quite the dominance over the mountains of the west, but the national wilderness of Conference USA is not so clear. The Pitino led Cardinals are being hunted by the Charlotte 49ers and they might go home well fed if neither gets eaten by a Bearcat first.

Finally, watch out for the small forest rulers like Gonzaga, Creighton, Southern Illinois and St. Joseph’s, as they may be the early season end of an upper bid. Well, that’s all. Join me next week when I return with the Big Dance guest list and those who will be lucky to make the toilet cleaning crew. I am Moose and it’s time for an antler cleaning.