Ode to St. Ide's Malt Liquor
Your high gravity malt
makes me heavy drunk.
You make me contemplate
things like four planes
blinking simultaneously
…well, a little out of sync:
one, then the next,
then the next, then
I break the silence with a fart joke.
You make me stupid, like I’m stoned
but with more gravity involved.
When I wake the next day,
I can feel the heaviness again
in the furthest pit of my intestines,
and I shout, “Beware the Ides of Malt!”
Relief comes in the form of distraction:
a bird outside twittering
“birdy-birdy-birdy-birdy”
as well as my own unbridled
beer fart opera.
- Ted Roland