Don’t gimme that Bull, Petroskey

In a world filled with shock and awe, MOABs and WMDs, one man stands alone to protect our domestic security. No, I’m not talking about Tom Ridge or Dick Cheney (wherever he may be), but Dale Petroskey, the chairman of the Major League Baseball Hall of Fame in lovely Cooperstown, N.Y.
Yes, let us pause to thank this true American whose pre-emptive strike saved a near-catastrophe in the making. We can all thank Mr. Petroskey for canceling the fifteen-year reunion of Bull Durham, without question the most quoted and recognizable baseball flick of my generation. Who cannot recite at least part of Crash Davis’ diatribe about what he believes in?
Let us return to my new hero, Mr. Petroskey. Due to Tim Robbins and Susan Sarandon’s political views (the real life couple portray rookie pitcher Nuke LaLoosh and team groupie Annie Savoy in the film), Mr. Petroskey decided to do away with the event in its entirety. The director Ron Shelton and writer/actor Robert Wuhl were also scheduled to appear. In a statement that received much less attention, The Boys of Summer novelist Roger Kahn decided to forego his invitation as a protest to Petroskey’s actions.
In a letter to Robbins, Petroskey wrote, “Public figures, such as you, have platforms much larger than the average Americans, which provides you an extraordinary opportunity to have your views heard — and an equally large obligation to act and speak responsibly.”
Whoa, slow down pal. Does that mean “average Americans” have smaller platforms? How big is my platform? Do I get a steel one or just a crusty piece of plywood on a couple of cinder blocks? And exactly what does it mean to “act and speak responsibly?” Am I supposed to wear my Old Glory pin with a catatonic smile on my face and watch the O’Reilly Factor on Fox News? Is that American, to waive our right to dissent?
He went on to say, “We believe your very public criticism of President Bush at this important — and sensitive — time in our nation's history helps undermine the U.S. position, which ultimately could put our troops in even more danger.”
Are you kidding? And just who is the “we” in that sentence? This was not a board decision by the Hall whose committee is made of former players, owners and a certain former used car salesman named Bud Selig — who doubles as the commissioner of our glorious game — but a unilateral, unequivocal and discriminatory act.
Mr. Robbins wrote back to Petroskey saying, “I had been unaware that baseball was a Republican sport.” And he added, “I am sorry that you have chosen to use baseball and your position at the Hall of Fame to make a political statement.”
Later, Petroskey told the Associated Press, “As much as the Hall of Fame honors our armed forces, this institution should never be used as a platform for public pro-war sentiments, nor public anti-war sentiments.” No of course not, especially when the Hall honors our armed forces.
Robbins responded to that comment by noting that the Hall had invited the current White House press secretary, Ari Fleischer, to speak in Cooperstown a year ago and that the news release announcing Fleischer’s appearance quoted Petroskey as saying the Hall would hear Fleischer’s “perspective on life in the White House and the current political scene, which of course includes the war on terrorism.” To that act of nonpartisanship Robbins said, “Where was the discussion about baseball?”
Oh, I know what you’re saying now. C’mon Eben, I’ve seen Bull Durham a dozen times and you can’t tell me that you missed the anti-government propaganda? I know, I know, it’s not just a movie about a minor league club and the wacky cast of characters and their hijinks in the South. No, it’s really an allegory for the unequal distribution of wealth in this country and the glorification of athletes whose platforms are much bigger than mine.
Well, I’ve been laying it on pretty thick so let me step back and make a simple comment. This event has been scheduled for some time. We are celebrating a wonderful pop movie of the 1980s that has turned into a cult classic for sports fans and non-sports fans alike. Shame on you Mr. Petroskey; the game of baseball does not need any more black eyes. No one knew who you were before this debacle and now no one will forget.
I would like to close with a quote and a statement, the former from Walt Whitman via Bull Durham, “I see great things in baseball, it's our game. The American game. It will repair our losses and be a blessing to us.”
And to you Mr. Petroskey, I have but four simple words for you: Not in our name!