Classics hall a haven to dorks

To the Editors:

Primum atrium litterarum de rebus futuris venit, impedens campum de tabulato quarto Noae. Nunc, altera res ex caligine emergit, novus terror - Atrium Graecum Romanumque. Perfugium omnibus ineptis de aliqua parte
campi, haec atrium in tabulato tertio Meridiei velut monumentum studiis omnibus Graecis Romanisque stabit. Locus ubi populi ire poterunt erit ad interrogationes ad multam noctem de ablativu, et quaesitiones de moribus coquinariis Atrei, nam dum provincia Oberlinis Graeca Romanaque mirabilis est, non eis seconda hora mane quaesitiones de ponente panes in fornacem frigidam aut de capellis lacertosis non videantus esse amoenae. Sed atrium Graecum Romanumque praesens erit! Venite visere! Etiam tibi ubi custoditur aegidem Achillis monstremus.

P.S. Ago vobis gratias, Georgina et Augusta.

First came the Hall of Science Fiction, menacing the campus from fourth floor of Noah. Now, out of the mist emerges something else, a new terror - The Classics Hall. Haven to all dorks from all parts of the campus, this hall in the third floor of South will stand as a monument to all obsessions Greek and Roman. It will be a place for people to go with questions late at night about the ablative and inqueries on the cooking habits of Atreus, for while the Classics Department of Oberlin is fantastic, questions at two in the morning about lusty goats or placing bread into cold ovens may not be seen as pleasing to them. But the Classics Hall will be there! Come visit! We may even
show you where the shield of Achilles is kept.

P.S. Thank you, Georgina and Augusta.

—Maxwell Teitel-Paule
College first-year