Not so happy feet

To the Editors:

When I think about this college, so different from my hometown, when I think about its first-rate facilities, enormous libraries, the peace and quiet, the gloriously idiosyncratic teachers, and the tremendous pool of talent everywhere I look, a happy warm sensation washes over me, and invariably, the same thought always comes to mind before long: STOP SHAKING YOUR GODDAMNED LEG, YOU ADHD-AFFLICTED POTHEAD!! It amazes me how often I’m sitting in class or in a computer lab when someone sits next to me and busts up my rhythm by exhibiting an acute case of Happy Feet. Let me just send the message out: you need to take control of your own body parts. Believe me, if you do so, the intense-looking fellow in the two-tone grey parka sitting next to you will a) be much less irritable and b) be much less inclined to kick you forcefully in the shin with a sand-stained black Reebok.

—Jeffrey Jones
College first-year