Suggestions to Dye
To the Editors:
discussing a classmate’s legal problems, a plan for alleviating
Oberlin’s budget crisis came over me. Oberlin offers a fine
array of psychological counseling services. For a small additional
investment, the College could add legal counseling services to the
battery of problem-solving options now available to the student
body at large. This move would have several benefits:
1) The student
body would be able to utilize the legal counseling services to defend
themselves in the court of law, and in civil disputes.
2) The College could make up for its recent layoffs by employing
several local Lorain county lawyers.
3) By arranging a payment scheme to distribute civil awards proceeds
in such a way that students, counsel and College alike were to benefit
financially from successful lawsuits, Oberlin College could make
up its multimillion dollar losses in the stock market after a few
years of legal battles waged on any number of issues pertinent to
Oberlin’s activist spirit, thereby maintaining, as yet another
beneficial side effect, the College’s painstakingly cultivated
progressive image to reap future classes of America’s most
high-achieving, conscientious students.
I’m sure you’ll agree that this proposal will be the
basis for the financial stability of Oberlin College for decades
to come. President Dye, with all due respect, after this most recent
hullabaloo surrounding the layoff scandal, you have little choice
but to restore Oberlin’s finances through alternative methods,
the most viable of which I have just outlined above.