Stevenson Falsely Advertises Pretzels

To the Editors:

We’d like to register a public complaint regarding the services of Stevenson dining hall. We were most displeased to discover that Stevenson’s advertised “Soft Pretzel Bar” at dinner offered nothing of the sort. We looked high and low, in the regular food service areas as well as in the three dining rooms, searching in vain for some hidden corner where we might find our promised pretzels. As we needn’t mention to any who was in attendance, there were no pretzels. No, Stevenson had once again let us down.
We are not demanding soft pretzels as an unalienable right. Pretzels are a privilege; no one is disputing that. However, if Stevenson is going to promise us pretzels, they damn well better cough up the goods. We did not arrive intending to eat a full meal. No, we merely intended to enjoy the snack food we had been looking forward to consuming all week. Once there, we discovered our entire purpose negated. We decided to make our voices heard by way of comment cards, only to discover there were none. Coincidence? We think not. Conspiracy? We think so. We arrived not even hungry, but we left feeling sick.
In closing, we feel we are owed restitution from this disreputable business. We demand repayment for the cost of three dinners in Stevenson, as well as repayment for the three pretzels we purchased at Midway Mall, as well as the cost of gas to get there.

–Carrie Pierce
College junior
–Kelly Johnson
College senior
–Rhea Esposito
College junior