Of the Week
field hockey player Chaney Stewman ended her season on the right
note by scoring 10 goals in her final five games. This outburst
of scoring helped the Yeowomen finish the season on a five game
winstreak, putting their record at 11-7 overall and 5-7 in the North
Coast Athletic Conference. The 5-7 record tied the Yeowomen for
third in the conference with Denison and Ohio Wesleyan.
Stewman was named the NCAC Field Hockey Player of the Week for the
week ending Oct. 28 for her outstanding performance.
Stewman, originally from Gibsonia, Penn., led the Yeowomen to victories
over Washington and Jefferson University (Pa.), Haverford College
(Pa.), Bryn Mawr College (Pa.), Transylvania University (Ky.) and
The University of the South (Tenn.) in the last week of the season.
In those five games, the Yeowomen outscored their opponents 17-1.
In addition to scoring 10 goals, Stewman added two assists in the
In the win over The University of the South, Stewman scored two
goals from penalty strokes to help the Yeowomen win their last game
of the year. After both teams played two 35 minute halves and two
overtimes scoreless, it came down to penalty strokes. After the
first round, both teams were tied at 2, but in the second round
Oberlin edged out their opponents to win 6-4.
Stewman ended the season leading the NCAC in scoring with 29 points
and in average with 1.71 ppg.
Saturday, vs. Ohio Wesleyan,
left early and missed the last win, dont be a dumbass and
miss this one, too. Come watch the Yeomen take on the Battling Bishops
of Ohio Wesleyan in a North Coast Athletic Conference home game
this Saturday. With two home games left, make sure you arent
the only person not to see Oberlin win this season. It will be cold,
so buy hot chocolate from the concession stand.
the Locker Room with. . .
Jenny Lusk-Yablick and junior Chaney Stewman were nice enough to
enlighten me on the finer points of field hockey, the team and life
So what do you two think of the articles written by Liz (first-year
field hockey writer Elizabeth Logan)?
They are really long, but good.
CS: But we like our articles long and strong, just like our sticks.
calls, out of the blue, interrupting my interview to talk to Chaney.
She pawns the phone off on a teammate, junior Nana Uemura, who in
turn hands the phone to Superfan Chris Daly, a housemate
Wait, Ian, can she quote me?
IH: Yeah, whatever, just give her good stuff to work with so her
article will be done on time.
field hockey team wears skirts, does that bother you?
When I first found out we had to wear skirts I was like, Hell
no I wont wear a skirt. But after you play in them you
realize they are great. You can move easily, its like you
have nothing on.
CS: They are okay except when they are cold and wet.
JL: And when they flap.
CS: And when they split down the middle, giving all the fans a free
JL: Yeah, and when you fall on your ass and they fly up and you
dont have spandex on.
Tell him what the seniors do for the last home game.
JL: Well, for the last home game the seniors dont wear spandex
under their skirts, only our underwear and we write stuff on our
underwear. Its a free show, if you are lucky.
gets up from her seat and announces that the cubby she is sitting
in is too cold and climbs into the chair with Jenny.
Move over more.
JL: I cant, your ass is too big.
CS: Well, your boobs are small.
you two are comfortable we can continue. Field hockey balls are
pretty hard. Have either of you ever been hit with one?
gets up and comes over to me and shows me a scar on her lip.
I got hit and two stitches on the outside of my lip and five on
the inside. Oh, did I mention that its Chaneys fault
that I got stitches.
CS: Did I mention that its Jennys fault that A-B (00
graduate Annabeth Macy) had 10 stitches in her head last year?
Jay Criscione (Chaneys housemate): I think the worst field
hockey injury was when I was hit in the leg with a stick.
JL & CS: Shut up Jay.
JL: Ow, my leg, youre such a baby about that.
has anyone done anything crazy on the field hockey team?
Ask Chaney about running around naked with a pillowcase on her head.
CS: Shut up, Chris.
do you care to explain?
Its more what Chaney didnt do on (blank) in a (blank)
while running around naked with a pillowcase on her head and a tie-dye
shirt around her waist.
I wont ask.
We can tell you about the Booty Hat and the Love
Yeah, the Booty Hat and the Love Glove.
CS: The Love Glove makes my arms itch.
JL: The Booty Hat is this pink visor and the Love
Glove is a 1980s, multi-colored, elbow-length glove.
JL: If you get caught giving or receiving booty you have to wear
the Booty Hat and the Love Glove for a whole
CD: I like that, giving or receiving.
CS: Then theres Chris who just cheers for us.
so if you could be any cartoon character who would you be?
this point I look at my tape recorder and realize that the whole
middle of my interview has been missed because I am a dumbass and
accidentally paused the tape, missing Chris thorough monologue
about that. Lets see, where were we?
Cartoon characters. But ask them what the words, I never
mean to them first.
what do the words, I never mean to you two?
I never is a drinking game the field hockey team plays. We dont
drink at all during the season.
CS: Unless its tequila. Just kidding.
JL: Things get revealed during the party.
CS: And people do things that they wouldnt normally do.
JL: Concerning booty.
CS: See booty is the center of our life.
JL: Everything revolves around the booty. Thats the real reason
we wear the skirts. They frame the booty.
CS: Easy access too. Haha.
so back to the cartoon characters
Right, I would be Mighty Mouse, because he is hot, hes a furry
rodent and he always gets with a girl.
CS: He always gets a girl?
JL: Yeah, every episode he flies away with a girl on his arm.
CS: I like the Smurfs. Theyre blue.
I want to have x-ray vision, but Im afraid I would be disappointed
at what I would see. Have we told you Chris is field hockeys
biggest fan? Hes the Super Fan and he beat out
JL: I want to fly, no reason, just think it would be fun.
CS: Thats really ironic because you usually fly around the
ends on the field.
Who is going to win the World Series?
Oh God, I dont want to answer. Im from Boston. Just
say not the Yankees. The Yankees... I cant say that. Ill
get my ass kicked by half this campus.
say what, The Yankees suck? Ill say it, I have
contempt for the Yankees.
Brie (Briana Quinn, junior field hockey) likes the Yankees. You
can put that I said, the Yankees suck, Brie.
CS: We love Brie even though she roots for a sucky team. Its
a product of her upbringing.
Brie. OK, if you were granted one wish from a genie what would it
Man what is it with all these hard questions?
CD: Laetitia Casta.
JL & CS: Who?
JC: Shes a Victorias Secret model.
IH: You know shes naked on European money dont you?
CD: She is?
JL: Thats what I want my wish to be. I want to be on European
IH: To be naked on European money?
JL: Yes, I want to be naked on European money.
CS: Man thats a good wish.
CD: So wait, shes on money, naked?
IH: Yeah, shes the symbol...
CD: Its not all about sex, Chaney. Shes a very...
CD: Beautiful and interesting woman. She...
CS: Has a really good smell.
CD: Listen, I dont wanna hear you...
CD: Can I get two seconds here?
CS: Two sexends?
CD: No, two seconds. She is a very special woman to me. I dont
wanna talk about her...
CD: Obviously you dont understand what I mean to her.
you two have a relationship?
Well, I send her letters and she sends me letters back.
JL: You mean she returns your letters to you.
CD: No, I mean she sends me letters. Theyre short, to the
point. She said something about restraining order. Whatever that
means. One of those French terms.
Chaney, what do you want to do with your wish?
Chris, I need some sentimental music here. Oh well, Ill live
without. I want to be successful and happy.
JL: Thats two, honey.
CS: Well, to be happy then.
See, not everything is about sex, sentimental values are important,