What Would Nina Do?

Dear Nina,
I’ve been dating this guy for like a month and he’s totally, like, caring and sensitive and wicked hot, but I feel a little weird because he only hangs out with girls. Like, I know he’s really into me and I shouldn’t be jealous, but this is bringing out my green side. I find myself wanting to know whether he has romantic histories with any of them and stuff like that. On the other hand, sometimes it seems more like he’s one of the girls than that flirtatious with them. If I bring it up, is that really lame? I don’t want to fuck this up.
— Uneasy Being Green

Dear Kermit,
Sounds like you’ve landed a good fellow. You should always give the benefit of the doubt when you are building something, especially when it seems like there could really be a future.
Just because a guy has a lot of girl-friends doesn’t mean he’s running a harem. It doesn’t mean he’s like up all night watching Judy Garland musicals with them either.
I happen to be a girl who has lots of male friends, and I understand how it was probably threatening to my boy at first, so I’m sure you could bring it up (in a non-chalant way) if you need a little reassurance. But I would seriously warn against actually interrogating him on specific friends.
It’s a shame when girls are insecure and focus on such things, when they really have a lot to be excited about. Just remember, you met a nice boy who clearly likes you. Yay!

Dear Nina,
I love the ladies, but the problem is, I love them all. So I get really into a girl, but once the thrill is gone, I can’t maintain that interest. I recently ended a fling but want to be friends with the girl. But she’s pretty pissed because I am already seeing someone new. I don’t see why it can’t just become platonic.
— Ladies’ man

Dear Big Pimpin’,
It sounds like you are one of those people who shower others with attention and then take it away abruptly when you get bored, which is beneficial to absolutely no one’s ego. You have to realize that, unlike you, most people have a hard time seeing something good come to an end, especially if it seems random.
It’s nice that you genuinely like the girl and still want her in your life, but it also seems like somewhat of a fantasy that it should be easy to make the shift in status from lover to pal.
The best thing to do is tell her you understand, and that this is just how you are, (though maybe that should change at some point) but she is important to you. Let her know you will give her some space but you’d like to be able to hang out and start over as friends.
If you want to really lay on the crap, you could give her some lines about how she doesn’t want to be with you anyway, since you are such a badass. But really that’ll just sound like crap.

November 9
November 16

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