What
Would Nina Do?
by Nina
Dear
Nina,
Whats the best way to feel out a crush on a guy in your larger
social circle?
Anonymous
Dear
Anonymous,
That can be tough. But also good because its not like you
have to be pathetic in order to hang around the guy. Make sure you
are the funniest person in a given group, and dont drink too
much if you are going to act like a loser. You want to get this
persons attention in a natural way, so make fun of him/her
and touch his arm as much as possible during conversation, without
being obvious.
Be very careful not to tell too many people, since this is all happening
within a circle of friends. Nothings worse than having a bunch
of girls giggling to your man about your secret crush. Totally impossible
to appear cool/nonchalant after that. Throw a party so you can invite
him. Then charm his pants off!
Nina
Dear
Nina,
How unethical is it to hit on someone you know is in a relationship?
I understand this is a no-no, but isnt it true that sometimes
the new relationship is better/more important/more serious than
the old one? Am I awful for even asking?
Looking for Love
Dear
Looking for Love (in all the wrong places),
This is one of those things that depends on specifics of the situation,
so its hard to give general rules. In a perfect world, you
wouldnt have to take any responsibility for ruining a relationship
by hitting on someone who is spoken for. People should be trustworthy
enough to resist temptation if he/she is committed.
On the other hand, that kind of temptation could be a signal that
the relationship this person is in is not satisfying or has run
its course. This is your only hope. Time is essential in this case,
because you dont want to just steal him/her. Then you might
have
a confused basket-case on your hands and it will never last, unless
this person is a serial-committer but thats no good either.
The objective is to patiently counsel this person through the break-up,
and then console him/her into a new relationship with you.
If you just hit on this person and he/she automatically has no problem
cheating, this person is a dog, and you dont want to get involved.
If you are looking for love, a taken woman or man is usually not
a good target, but if you are truly meant to be, it could work out.
I would say that if you are at all friends with the significant
other, lay off, big time. If the other is out of state or out of
the country, see above.
Nina
Does
your main squeeze want to start switch-hitting? Write and find out
What Would Nina Do for this or any kind of advice. E-mail nina.lalli
or drop letters in OCMR 1683.
|