I was in Stevenson last night and saw a menorah burning, then someone came to my table and asked me if I would like to say some prayers for the first day of Hanukkah. I am a strict atheist and was really insulted by this public display in a place that is used by so many people. Is it ethical for such activities to occur in this place?

We all have the freedom to celebrate (or not) the religion of our choice. And so long as we are in public spaces, we are free to do so. But remember: when we enter private spaces, the rules change. The constitution does not change in private spaces, of course, but the rules that govern the way we must interact with each other do. This is a classic example of these changing rules.

Let’s first consider what happened exactly: You were asked to say “some prayers.” This is an invitation, nothing more, and presents little to get upset about. Nor is there anything unethical about the invitation, so long as it was done without malicious intent. You have probably been asked to say prayers before.

Many families say grace before dinner. When one is a guest to a family of this denomination, one is expected not to verbally or physically take umbrage at the host’s tradition. This scene is repeated in many romantic comedies — where the boy or girl meets the parents for the first time and is asked to say grace. Awkward hilarities ensue.

Also, mosques all over the world call followers to prayers from the tops of minarets. The calls echo through cities and do not discriminate on whose ears it falls.

Maybe the former examples will never happen to you, but a similar situation takes place on campus regularly. Anyone who is frequently a guest to Lord/Saunders for dinner has probably had the opportunity to observe grace there. All diners are invited to participate. The key here is that you are invited; someone way back in Oberlin history who helped bring us Lord/Saunders wanted this communal prayer to take place. It is polite to stand and a wonderful way to actively thank all the people that made that meal possible.

But what about praying in Stevenson, which can easily be seen as non-denominational? It is not a public space, but a private one in the sense that others (administrators) are making the rules. It is also privately funded, so we have more choices in how and what religion is concerned. Not only is the dining hall private, but the whole school is also private. Because the menorah appeared, you can bet it was approved. The people who approved it surely considered the plight of students just like you, but felt that the positive effects of the menorah outweighed the negative.

So how do you respond appropriately? Do not make attacks on the person inviting you to prayer. This is Oberlin; everyone is entitled to their opinion and religion and attacking another person, especially if you do not know him or her, is wrong. Just as with the call to prayer from a mosque, or the invitation from your significant other’s father, you can politely refuse. If you really cannot act respectfully to the events that offend, simply leave; Stevenson is a big place — get a new table. No one is doing wrong, and in crying foul, the only offender could end up being you.

You are in Oberlin, and people have different beliefs. Revel in the differences: enjoy the lilting call to prayer, enjoy the “Ase!” and enjoy the candle light that is bringing many students peace.

Send your ethical dilemmas, questions or comments to theethicalobie@gmail.com