| << Front page | Commentary | November 3, 2007 |
The Ethical Obie
My neighbor is frequently playing loud rap and hip-hop music from his room that is clearly heard in the hall. He also writes amusing rap lyrics on his door. One of our neighbors objected to a certain lyric he wrote because she found it offensive to her sex. Under her pressure, he erased the lyric. At the time, I thought that if I had been him, I would have assured her that I did not intend the statement to be harmful, but instead amusing. I also would have politely declined to remove it based solely on her views. Did my neighbor do the right thing in removing the unintentionally offensive message?
- Nervous Neighbor
What you might be asking is “could I have exerted one of America’s proudest, loudest, and most relied-on institutions – freedom of speech – and not taken down the sign?” The answer is “Well, yes, of course.” Exercising freedom of speech is something we do often and loudly here at Oberlin. Open forums, protests, conferences and discussions are an important part of what it is to be an Obie. The hipster can mumble his angst, the hippie can call for legalization of drugs and the rapping neighbor can go on poppin’ tags. But keep in mind that while high fences make good neighbors, rude sexual adornments usually do not.
Your neighbor could have refused to erase the lyrics, but at what costs? For those of us living in dorms or similar college housing, friendly coexistence is important. If you let your neighbor get to sleep at a reasonable hour, they will be far more likely to lend you some duct tape next time your curtains fall down. Everyone has heard a story, or has a story of his or her own, of some intolerable event that took place in a neighbor’s room and drove him or her crazy. We cannot live with this all the time, of course. The structure of Oberlin resident life would fall like a house of cards.
This rapping resident was right to erase the offensive lyrics when asked. He lives next to this woman and in all likelihood will continue to for the rest of the year. He made life much easier for both of them by respecting her wish. She doesn’t have to go on hating him for sexism, possibly spreading that feeling to her friends. And he doesn’t have to fear some kind of retribution. After all, hell hath no fury like a woman dissed.
I am an RA who is very interested in one of my residents. (He/she) is really cute! I am not worried about my other residents finding out; we are both very discreet. Can I ethically make this hook-up happen?
-Frisky for First-Year
The first thing to make sure of is if it is legal for you to partake in this. The law may not dampen your love (or lust), but some of your friends may look down on it. If age is not a problem, the next thing you should consider is the potential awkwardness of the situation. Believe it or not, there is awkwardness at Oberlin. For an example of this, just stand in a hallway of King between classes. This hook-up could inspire more awkwardness in a few ways.
Firstly, you must deal with the potential awkwardness of hallcest. There is a reason it is given such an inviting name. If you are both okay with the idea of hallcest, next think about your job.
“It was never explicitly discussed during the RA training (last year),” said College senior Ezra S. Pincus-Roth, an RA last year. Some of your superiors are sure to look down on it, others will leave it to your discretion. It is worth giving anything that your boss might warn you against a little extra thought.
You should also consider how much harder this will make your job. As an RA, you have taken it upon yourself to do the dirty work of busting people for illegal drugs, underage drinking and burning incense. Will the resident try to take advantage of your affections, thinking that you would never write up someone who showed you such a good time? Will you be able to write up the flame of your heart for almost burning the dorm down? As an RA, this is the duty and contract that you have agreed to, and if the relationship will prevent you from performing your duties, do not continue this liaison.
If you really think, and can show that you will not increase the awkwardness around here (please!) and still fulfill the responsibilities that you are being paid for, then have fun. Just remember to be safe!
Jay Nolan
The Ethical Obie
E-mail your ethical dilemmas to theethicalobie@gmail.com
- Nervous Neighbor
What you might be asking is “could I have exerted one of America’s proudest, loudest, and most relied-on institutions – freedom of speech – and not taken down the sign?” The answer is “Well, yes, of course.” Exercising freedom of speech is something we do often and loudly here at Oberlin. Open forums, protests, conferences and discussions are an important part of what it is to be an Obie. The hipster can mumble his angst, the hippie can call for legalization of drugs and the rapping neighbor can go on poppin’ tags. But keep in mind that while high fences make good neighbors, rude sexual adornments usually do not.
Your neighbor could have refused to erase the lyrics, but at what costs? For those of us living in dorms or similar college housing, friendly coexistence is important. If you let your neighbor get to sleep at a reasonable hour, they will be far more likely to lend you some duct tape next time your curtains fall down. Everyone has heard a story, or has a story of his or her own, of some intolerable event that took place in a neighbor’s room and drove him or her crazy. We cannot live with this all the time, of course. The structure of Oberlin resident life would fall like a house of cards.
This rapping resident was right to erase the offensive lyrics when asked. He lives next to this woman and in all likelihood will continue to for the rest of the year. He made life much easier for both of them by respecting her wish. She doesn’t have to go on hating him for sexism, possibly spreading that feeling to her friends. And he doesn’t have to fear some kind of retribution. After all, hell hath no fury like a woman dissed.
I am an RA who is very interested in one of my residents. (He/she) is really cute! I am not worried about my other residents finding out; we are both very discreet. Can I ethically make this hook-up happen?
-Frisky for First-Year
The first thing to make sure of is if it is legal for you to partake in this. The law may not dampen your love (or lust), but some of your friends may look down on it. If age is not a problem, the next thing you should consider is the potential awkwardness of the situation. Believe it or not, there is awkwardness at Oberlin. For an example of this, just stand in a hallway of King between classes. This hook-up could inspire more awkwardness in a few ways.
Firstly, you must deal with the potential awkwardness of hallcest. There is a reason it is given such an inviting name. If you are both okay with the idea of hallcest, next think about your job.
“It was never explicitly discussed during the RA training (last year),” said College senior Ezra S. Pincus-Roth, an RA last year. Some of your superiors are sure to look down on it, others will leave it to your discretion. It is worth giving anything that your boss might warn you against a little extra thought.
You should also consider how much harder this will make your job. As an RA, you have taken it upon yourself to do the dirty work of busting people for illegal drugs, underage drinking and burning incense. Will the resident try to take advantage of your affections, thinking that you would never write up someone who showed you such a good time? Will you be able to write up the flame of your heart for almost burning the dorm down? As an RA, this is the duty and contract that you have agreed to, and if the relationship will prevent you from performing your duties, do not continue this liaison.
If you really think, and can show that you will not increase the awkwardness around here (please!) and still fulfill the responsibilities that you are being paid for, then have fun. Just remember to be safe!
Jay Nolan
The Ethical Obie
E-mail your ethical dilemmas to theethicalobie@gmail.com
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