The Oberlin Review
<< Front page Arts April 7, 2006

Wanton Distraction
By Matt Goldberg

Of Snakes and Planes

Even though I spend most of my time on it, sometimes I really hate the Internet, and not for the obvious reasons of penis-enlargement ads, pop-up pummeling (although I did beat that with the Firefox browser) or the sad nature of message board discussions. The reason I have such disdain for the Internet is because of the way it blasts through trends like a toddler blasts through the wrapping on his brand new Nintendo Sixty-Foooooouuuur! (see the power of YouTube to understand the reference).
 

 

Whether it’s Chuck Norris facts or The Chronic-WHAT-les of Narnia, Internet memes* have a half-life shorter than Robin Williams’ attention span. If we could harness the speed at which the Internet blows through trends, we could afford to use oil on Slip-n-Slides at joyous-then-tragic family barbecues. And if you’re not glued to your computer — if you have what some may affectionately refer to as a “life” — then what was yesterday’s CollegeHum-or.com hotlink is now the latest irritating forward from your parents.

But now the trend has broken through into our world and has created the most absurd, expectedly unexpected marketing campaign in the history of cinema. The paradigm shift comes in a form no one would expect: brilliant in its stupidity, daring in its simplicity; this summer, Snakes on a Plane is coming to a theatre near you.

That’s the name of the film.

Some credited the Internet with making this film the pseudo-success it has currently become; this is true to an extent. Sites like Defamer, Collider, Ain’t It Cool News and CHUD have helped push the film and brought it to the attention of more casual Internet users.

At one point, distributor New Line Cinema tried to change the name to Flight 121, but star Samuel L. Jackson would have none of it. When questioned about the title change, Jackson replied in his Samuel L. Jacksonian-way “Naw, man! Motherf——in’ Snakes on a Plane!” And as “news” organizations like CNN and Entertainment Weekly look for anything to fill their airtime or pages, they report on this Internet phenomenon.

This is all because the film is called Snakes on a Plane.

No one has seen this film. They’re going back and reshooting it for an R rating (because apparently we missed the original gruesomeness of having snakes attack people on an aircraft). The most anyone has seen of this film is a minute-long teaser trailer. The film comes out in August.

Superman, who hasn’t had a film since Reagan was President, has less buzz for his return this June. Without the Internet, Snakes on a Plane would be a cult film passed around on copied VHS tapes. And that’s at best. To accomplish that grand feat, the film would actually have to have merit. I repeat: No one has seen the film.

What’s fascinating about Snakes on a Plane is how the fast-paced, hipster-doofus world of the Internet has already pushed this film past its stupid-cool phase. By the time August rolls around, Snakes on a Plane will have gone from stupid-cool, to mainstream, to backlash and back around to retro-stupid-cool.

But why has this film received such attention while other seriously-praised films like Shaun of the Dead and Kiss Kiss, Bang Bang have gone unnoticed? Because, presumably, snakes should not be on planes. That’s just how I was raised. But now, these two opposing nouns will collide.

I know this and you know this, because the film is called Snakes on a Plane. Of course, once everyone has embraced this ironically hip title (because if it were called anything else, no one would give a damn), how hip is it really? The early adopters are already calling it old news. The backlash has already begun and it is not against the film. It is against the people who only heard of it because the early adopters brought it to their attention. And that’s perhaps the only irony greater than the title.


* “a unit of cultural information, such as a cultural practice or idea, that is transmitted verbally or by repeated action from one mind to another.” (American Heritage Dictionary, Fourth Edition via dictionary.com)
 
 
   

Powered by