The Oberlin Review
<< Front page Sports March 18, 2005

March Madness men’s basketball field narrows

Well, folks, I would like to take this time to thank my most dedicated readers and admirers, the Oberlin Gamblers Anonymous Chapter. I do not know about you, but I am more excited about this time of year than I was when I grew my first antler. This is what it’s all about: win or go home, no second chances, no consolation, 65 teams and one throne for Mystical Forest Ruler.

Okay, stop pulling your hair out looking at your bracket in Chemistry 050, take 10 deep breaths and read the following: starting with Illinois’ region, many see the Illini flying through March Madness. Taking it one round at a time, the Illini should not have a tough time in the first two rounds. However, the Nevada Wolfpack could be a big hump. Arizona and Oklahoma State should make pretty smooth transitions to the third round, but the LSU Tigers might also look for a trip to Chicago. Boston College and the rolling Tide will be battling for the Sweet 16 if neither trips over their own shoelaces as they have been known to do. My upset pick is St. Mary’s over one of this year’s nominees for Most Overrated Tourney Team, Southern Illinois.

Let’s go to the Albuquerque wilderness, where many are shocked by the number one seed of Washington. Look for comfort from Pittsburgh, which has arrived at the dance with Cinderella slippers and the attitude of a preying mantis. Pitt did not come alone in the pumpkin carriage, as Creighton might lose a dirty cat fight to West Virginia. Georgia Tech should get to the third round past the Cards, who might be stunned by the Ragin’ Cajuns. Wake Forest will walk to the Elite Eight, and the Bobby Knight Red Raiders should shred the over-seeded Zaga Bulldogs.

In UNC’s bracket, the Tarheels can easily make it to the third round, along with stumbling Kansas. Iowa State, Wisconsin and N.C. State will all make second round appearances. However, the Wolfpack can be the only one to taste sweetness with a win over shaky UConn. The underdog here will be Mountain West wood kings New Mexico. They will not only keep up the tradition of a 12 beating a five but also grab a second round win over the swamp mistakes of Florida.

And finally, let’s talk about the most exciting region, led by number one Duke. Coach K has been practicing basketball magic by disappearing in the regular season but should reappear in an Elite Eight game. Stanford, Iowa and Utah are all good picks, with one of them maybe even going to the Sweet 16. Kentucky, Oklahoma and Michigan State are dance regulars who make me work hard with their mediocre play. Then there’s Syracuse, who some forest dwellers feel got too low a seed and may prove some wrong with a strong championship showing. However, a wise man has informed me this is false.

There are many theories to how one becomes the head of this crazy forest, and mine is the Big Choke Theory. Georgia Tech and Syracuse both played four Big 12 teams the years they went to the championship. This year, I have filled out my bracket because Big 12 teams are reliable choke masters who deliver nothing but pain and bankruptcy. Look to the fact that there are six rounds and six Big Choke masters. Whichever team plays the most Big 12 teams could go home as mystical forest legends. When each one will lose is for you to choose and everyone to find out. So sit back, bet another mortgage with your kids as collateral and enjoy two of the greatest days of the year.
 
 

   


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