I decided to step outside my comfort zone for this week’s interview and talk with an athlete who is also in the Conservatory: senior swimmer Gabo Golden. The more Gabo talked the more I realized just why I would never get into the Con and why I need to get a water polo sweatshirt.

What events do you swim?
GG: 200 fly, 100 fly, 50 free and I do some relays.

How was the season for you?
GG: Awesome. It was a good senior season. I improved throughout even though I wasn’t training with the rest of the team over Winter Term. I was in Panama teaching music.

What do you play?
GG: Double bass and cello.

What’s double bass?
GG: Classical bass, string bass, standup bass. They are all the same thing.

Is it deeper than a bass?
GG: Than a bass what?

A bass. A single bass.
GG: No. No. There’s no such thing as a single bass. You just call it a double bass. Double bass, contra bass, string bass, standup bass, classical bass.

Okay, so what’s the difference between a bass and a cello.
GG: Size, and they are tuned differently.

You don’t just turn the pegs?
GG: No. I mean intervals between strings are different. Bass is tuned in fourths and cello is tuned in fifths.

Sure. Is there ever a conflict between being in the Con and playing a varsity sport?
GG: Orchestra is scheduled to go until 4:30 and that’s when practice starts. I arrive late to practice almost every day and I get made fun of by my team because they think I just show up late. But really I’m making music.

Do you think the swim team benefits from your musical talent?
GG: Well they come to all of my orchestral performances and are a huge cheering section. It’s an opportunity for us to practice cheering at meets. All the other teams are huge. We have the smallest squad but we are still complimented on our cheering. So much so that Kenyon, which is the best team in our conference always wants to do a cheer with us. You can see all the other teams looking on in envy. Everyone recognizes our cheering power.

If swimming wasn’t just about swimming but also about cheers, do you think you would win meets?
GG: It would help us out.

I noticed you still have long hair.
GG: Only on my head. I wear a cap in the meet.

Don’t the swimmers shave their heads before conference finals?
GG: She’s going to kill me for saying this, but my girlfriend wouldn’t let me.

So you’re sacrificing tenths of seconds for your girlfriend.
GG: You know, I don’t think it makes that much of a difference. A cap streamlines you the same as shaving.

Have any women ever shaved their heads?
GG: Yes! Stephanie Patterson. She’s a beast. She shaved freshman year. That was hardcore.

You’re also the captain of the water polo team. How many swimmers also play water polo?
GG: Anywhere from five to 10. Ten being great and five being more realistic.

When is the water polo season?
GG: The fall semester is with the Collegiate Water Polo Association. That’s with teams like Ohio University and Dayton. Akron just got kicked out.

What does it take to get kicked out of the water polo association?
GG: They were using players who weren’t students. They had this one guy who’s really old. 40 or 50 I guess. He plays goalie for them. He’s just this big hairy guy in the goal. He’s not that good so it doesn’t make a difference, I guess.

What’s on the back of your water polo sweatshirt?
GG: “Chicks dig us.” Zachary Kaplan-Moss and I were trying to come up with a design. We figured we could put Oberlin Water Polo on the front but didn’t know what to put on the back. Thirty minutes later we came up with “Chicks dig us.” We thought about how much it would piss off the girls on the team and then thought about how much they would actually like it. We receive compliments mixed with disgust. The sweatshirts are almost as good as your rugby ones.

Thanks. How did the swim team’s skull and crossbones logo start?
GG: I think coach came up with it one day. I think it was a comment on the Oberlin College seal. I don’t know. Scratch that, I know what it was. The North Coast Athletic Conference or maybe it was the NCAA has the emblem of the woman with the wreath. One time he just put a skull and bones over her head and thought it was really funny.

Any last comments?
GG: I had a great plan to work a Will Ferrell routine into this interview. I was going to try and slip the words visa vi, ergo, irrevocably and concordantly into the conversation.