<< Front page Sports March 12, 2004

In the Locker Room With... Derrick Watson

So Derrick, after four years of studying here at Oberlin College, most people are ready to hit the real world and get out of the bubble. What in the world made you want to come back after your time here was complete?

DW: Mainly it’s because my lieutenant made me come back here.

How so? How’s this Navy thing you’re involved with work anyways? Better yet, how do you go from Oberlin College to the military – that’s kind of unusual in these parts.

DW: I was always going to go into the military. The real twist was that I went to Oberlin first. What’s even funnier is that they paid me to go here. The guys in the office like to make fun of me for being in the Navy and going to Oberlin. Right now it’s not that exciting. Basically I have to go and do office work for four hours a day, every day, in Cleveland. And when the Navy decides to send me to training, I’ll be more than ready to go.

Okay, career candidate, any idea on when that might be?

DW: I’m hoping for the end of April, but I’ve been told not to be surprised if it’s as late as August. Taxpayer money at work…

So what’s it like having played varsity lacrosse here at Oberlin for three years and then coming back as a coach?

DW: It’s exciting. I was here for probably one of the lower points in Oberlin lacrosse history, but it’s good to see some fresh blood on the coaching staff and some motivated players coming in. I’m really looking forward to the next couple of years.

Because you’ll still be waiting to ship out?

DW: Uh, no. Hopefully I’ll be getting the alumni newsletter.

You don’t get it yet?

DW: I have one issue and that’s the one that [Assistant Coach Kevin] Walz handed to me.

So why are you looking forward to the next couple of years again?

DW: With all the promise that we’re showing this year and the success that is sure to follow from that, I feel that we can only get better.

What is a realistic expectation for the team this season?

DW: My only expectation is that after every single game, every player is ready to fall down and never get up again because they’re so tired. I feel that if that happens, we have a chance to win every game we play.

So now that you’re no longer a student, what’s it like walking around campus? What do you think of Oberlin students?

DW: Nothing’s really changed. People still don’t look before they cross the street.

DW: I’ve heard all about your theories.

That isn’t a theory. That is a statistic. You’ll see. Stupid people stepping into a street is a bad thing.

DW: I wouldn’t call them stupid, just very unobservant. That’s really the problem.

Well, what do you know, unobservant is actually a word. That’s right, I’m stupid. But I still look both ways before I cross the street.

DW: Before you ask me another question, I want to say that unobservant is only a word if you print it.

Or if spell check says it is a word. Duh.

DW: Next question.

What do you think about the “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” policy in the military, coming from a diverse population like Oberlin?

DW: I personally have no problems with homosexuality, but it’s a very sensitive issue in the military. When I become Chief of Naval Operations we’ll see what I can do about it then.

DW: Unobservant. You’re confused. And no, you get no boat.

How about a rubber dingy?

DW: Sure, and we’ll call it the USS Sil.

Does it come with or without nukes as a standard package?

DW: That’s a definite without. The rest of the world can thank me later.

Damn. My plans to take over Silesia (upper or lower?) get off easy again. Okay, let’s wrap this up – anything else you want to get out, seaman?

DW: Actually I’m a Petty officer 2nd Class.

Don’t you mean career-office-candidate-waiting-to-ship-out-after-almost-a-year 2nd Class?

DW: Whatever you say, Sil. I’m the one with the whistle at practice.


DW: Again. We just saw Miracle…


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