The Night Before the Tourney, the ultimate version by Claire Jahns, Fall '00

'Twas the night before the tourney, and all through the campus,
not a creature was stirring, not even a mantis.
The bags were all packed, along with their cares,
in hopes that a victory soon would be theirs.

The players were nestled all snug in their beds,
while visions of layout D's danced in their heads.
And Sarah in her sweats, and Rinn in her mesh,
had just settled down for a long autumn's rest.

When out on the quad there arose such a clatter,
I sprang from my bed to see what was the matter.
Away to the window I flew like a flash,
tore open the curtain, and threw up the sash.

The moon on the edges of new-fallen leaves,
made me recall cute, buzzing mantis-bees.
When, what to my wondering eyes should appear,
but a strange pegasus, with the look of a steer!

With a brave leader so close-shaven and quick,
I knew it was the Horsecows, with their captain Nick.
More rapid than Gobies, the Manti they came,
as they ran on the lawn, he called them by name:

"Now Bennie! now Josie! now Alyson, and Molly!
On Lyrica! on Rachel! on Andrea, and Stacey!
To the back of the endzone! Be huge, be tall!
Now cut strong, cut weak! Clear out, all!"

As dry leaves before the wild hurricane fly,
when they meet with an obstacle mount to the sky;
So to the fields, the excited bugs they drove,
to devour their opponents, these players strove.

And then, after sunrise, they were downstate,
the grey sky, the green grass--the day would be great.
As they opened the doors to put on their shoes,
they saw other players- but the question was whose?

It was a good college team, with some rookies and alums.
Deft fingers mastered the disc, even their thumbs.
Suddenly Tina gasped with a start -
for fear from the enemies had been struck in her heart.

Those cuts, how they angled! Their feet were so fast!
The longs cut to the throw, just 'fore it passed.
The handlers cleared out, right to the rear,
all thoughts erased of the night before's beer.

The Manti, though nervous, laced up their cleats,
threw on their sequined skirts, and got off their seats.
Seven players were chosen, and ran to the field,
They'd foot block and sprint, and never would yield.

Bugs lined up and called a play; Josie, she threw.
What a perfect picture, white plastic against blue!
The defense ran through, matching stride with opponents,
the beginning was tense, these few defining moments.

The other team picked up, searched for an open teammate;
'twas then she realized — they were nothing, just second-rate!
This epiphany, it was crushing; the handler, she froze,
and then to the occasion, the Preying Manti rose.

They won the first game, the second, and even the third,
Curly ran like a Cheetah, Liz flew like a bird.
They zoned, they manned, they called Run for the Border,
a trophy, a big dinner, all knew were in order.

They had championed the day, due to their running,
big thanks to their spirit, their agility, and cunning.
They invented some new cheers, and recalled an old one.
Screw &^%(, forget %$# - the Manti are second to none.

After the last buzz, the captains yelled, "Let's go!
We'll be a threat all year, these other schools now know!"
And their victims did know, what these bugs were thinking,
"Happy Ultimate to all, and to all, good drinking!"