TOP TEN WAYS TO IMPERSONATE AN OBIE
10. Learn to frighten "normal" people just by showing up.
9. Repair clothing with duct tape.
8. Sleep with people, in general.
7. Major in three things most Americans cannot comprehend.
6. Criticize anything popular.
5. Claim a location that is at least 1000 miles away as home.
4. Stop washing your fencing clothing.
3. Buy your socks from a Circus clown outfitter.
2. Never dine out.
1. If you're a woman, stop shaving your legs. If you're a man, start.
By Jeff Rodachy
(aka CyberRoach-Since 1975, making the world a tad more surreal.)
the breaking glass/ In the underpass/ See the breaking glass/ In the underpass/ Warm leatherette/ Hear the crushing steel/ Feel the steering wheel/ Hear the crushing steel/ Feel the steering wheel/ Warm leatherette/ Warm leatherette/ Warm leatherette/ Melts on your burning flesh/ You can see your reflection/ In the luminescent dash/ Warm leatherette/ A tear of petrol/ Is in your eye/ The hand brake/ Penetrates your thigh/ Quick -- Let's make love/ Before you die/ On warm leatherette/ Warm leatherette/ Warm leatherette/ Warm leatherette/ Warm leatherette/