About Us

All About Us

The cast of characters changes frequently. Anyone who works here should feel free to add a short bio of themselves--meanwhile, here are the pulsar lab research assistants from June 1998 to the present.

    Jim Sheckard
    Kate Becker
    Mark Kramer
    Miranda Balkin

Jim Sheckard Jim Sheckard, a native Pennsylvanian, is a veteran of Quaker Steak and Lube, an all-you-can-eat buffalo wings house. In fact, Jim's frequent visits to Quaker Steak have brought Pennsylvania's buffalo population to the brink of extinction. Jim does not advocate eating of the younger,weaker poor by the rest of the poor, unlike some of the sickos in this lab. Known to many simply as Wiener, Jim is an ardent MUD-er and spends much of his free time in the lab, impersonating a witch. Jim's favorite books are Basic Astronomical Data and What's New in IDL 5.1.
Jim is known around the world as the inventor of popular infomercial toy, The Pumpin' Jump, and the laser mouse pad, one of the most useless inventions known to (wo)mankind. Until recently, Jim was able to keep his snoring a secret, but the cat is out of the bag, so we have to nudge him when he falls asleep in lecture or the lecturer will notice. A rising junior at Oberlin College, Jim currently majors in physics, mathematics, and MUDs. His current research interest is how many undead scarecrows he can kill off at once.
Email him here.
Judy Garland

Kate Becker     Kate Becker is a wily young pulsar vixen whose diminutive size and pleasant manner just barely conceal a wild, animal-like nature.* There is great debate as to just what animal her animal-like nature hearkens to; fellow research assistant Jim Sheckard has suggested a chipmunk, while Kate's parents incongruously offer that Kate is inherently mooselike. Still others speak fondly of Kate's inner ferret. Perhaps Kate's uniqueness transcends the bounds of the animal kingdom, reaching to the monera--maybe even the fungi. This much, however, is known--Kate is a member of the class of 2001 at Oberlin College. She grew up in the exceptionally cute city of Huntington Woods, Michigan and attended Berkley High School.
    She was born May 18, 1979 (you may notice that this is exactly one year before the eruption of Mount Saint Helens; a team of researchers** is currently investigating the possibility that this eruption was truly caused by aftershocks from Kate's birth). If you would like to learn more about Kate, go to the Official Unofficial Meenie Meenie Chillie Beenie Newsletter of Michigan's web page.
Email her here.
                                            *This wild nature has not been confirmed by those around her, who wish to cast their vote for Kate as mildest girl of the year. **Led by Emily Daligga of Michigan State University Dennis Rodman

Mark Kramer Mark Kramer, hero to millions, is currently hiding out from his masses of fans in the Oberlin College Pulsar Lab. Remember the scene in Monty Python's Life of Brian when Brian opens his window one sunny morning to discover thousands of followers, and they discover he's stark naked? We're hoping not to have a repeat of that. A longtime resident of Cleveland, Ohio, Mark escaped to college only to find he was still less than an hour from home. In his spare time, Mark enjoys satiating his lust for Nintendo and all things computer. A sophomore computer science and physics major, Mark has no hair at the moment.
Mark considers Mohandas K. Gandhi an important role model, along with Eddie Vedder of Pearl Jam. We won't comment on the lack of women in that canon. Mark often says, "Let us endeavor so to live that when we come to die, even the undertaker will be sorry,*" and enjoys reading The Encyclopedia of Astronomy and Astrophysics for its scintillating, up-to-the-minute articles. Mark has been kind enough to allow us to share this information with you; please refrain from stalking him, although we realize the temptation is great.
Email him here. *He attributes this to Mark Twain in Pudd'nhead Wilson. Katherine Hepburn

Miranda Balkin

    Vital Statistics:
                            Born: New York City
                            Height: Shorter than she'd like
                            Weight: Sorry, I don't have time
                            Heart: Still in New York, although the rest of her corpus has long since, sadly, moved on.
                            Age: Can't decide if I wish I were younger or older.
                                   Sex: Female, and don't even imply otherwise.
                            No, the other kind of sex: Even if I had that figured out, do you think I'd publish it on the web?
    As a child, Miranda aspired to be an actress, a dazzlingly glamorous chameleon. And a writer or a poet, melting the hearts of literate folk worldwide. Sometimes, she wanted to be a policewoman; after all, nobody was tougher. Or maybe a doctor... or just a nurse. A mother! Ooh--maybe a scientist. A teacher (by golly, I could do better than that woman at the front of the classroom is!) A musician?... probably not. She might take over her dad's business, yes, that would be worthwhile and a guaranteed source of income. Or she might aspire to some vaguely defined "humane" job--the Peace corps, or union organizing. Hmm... and she would really look dashing behind that desk in the Oval Office. Oh! And what fun to be a pilot!
    Life has been going on like this for quite a while.   Currently, Miranda is majoring in physics and women's studies, with a projected minor in the Russian language. She has learned to eat brussel sprouts, tomato sauce, salmon and asparagus, though she still dislikes raw tomatoes, and peppers in any form, and is still a drama addict and an avid reader. She denies any rumors of consorting with other strangely dressed young people at all hours of the night.
Email her here.

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Last Updated June 1998