Interview Four
The following interview was answered by a white
male who just graduated college two years ago. He is still in the
relationship. They have not talked about marriage, however he has
a strong feeling that it may be in their future. She graduated from
college a year ago and just started a new job.
What are your race and the race of your partner?
-
I am white (male) and my partner is Asian (female)
How long have you been together?
-
We have been together for almost a year and a half.
Are you dating or are you married?
How/where did you meet?
-
We met at a bar. My friend was meeting some people from
work and she was one of their friends.
Is this your first interracial relationship?
How did you feel about interracial relationships before you were in
an interracial relationship?
-
I thought interracial relationships were fine, but I did not think that
I would ever actually be in one. I come from a very traditional,
Jewish family and I thought they would never approve.
How do you feel now about interracial relationships?
-
I still feel the same about interracial relationships, but I now realize
that I can be in a relationship with anyone. It does not matter what
their race is as long as I care about her and she cares about me.
Do you come across any criticisms from friends or family about your
interracial relationship?
-
I thought my parents would disapprove of my relationship, but after
they met her they fell in love with her. My grandparents, however,
are still having difficulty accepting her because in the Jewish faith religion
is passed down through the mother. They would like to see me with
a Jewish girl, but they do like my girlfriend.
-
My friends didn’t see the race thing as an issue. The majority of
her friends are Asian also. They never really have any criticisms,
but the first time I met them they did make a few jokes, nothing serious.
How did you tell your family and friends about your interracial relationship?
Do you have any suggestions for people just entering an interracial relationship?
-
I told my mother first. We are very close and she was very happy
for me. We told my father together. He had the “typical” father
reaction to any relationship. Basically, the issue was not her race,
but how “serious” the relationship was and how I was dealing with that
seriousness. My mother’s parents were disappointed that I had not
chosen someone from my synagogue. My mom talked to them and explained
how happy I was in this relationship. They became more understanding.
I think the main issue is whether two people are happy together.
- For suggestions on how to talk to your friends and
family visit our Discussions page.
Did your partner’s family express uncertainty about the relationship?
-
Yes. Her father is very strict. Honestly, I was a little worried
about meeting him. My girlfriend talked to him before we met and
he was surprisingly very accepting, because he saw how happy we were together.
Do you feel extra stress on your relationship as opposed to a non-interracial
relationship?
Do you feel that there are societal criticisms and pressures concerning
interracial relationships?
-
No, not really. Every once and while, though, people do stare when
we are out together, but that is on rare occasion.
Do you have any suggestions for a young person entering into an interracial
relationship?
-
Ignore criticism – they come from ignorant people. Be yourself!
Be honest! Make sure you keep the lines of communication open.
If you ever feeling uneasy about your relationship for whatever reason
make sure you talk to your partner.
Discussion
Every interracial relationship is different. However, it seems that
many agree that if you plan to enter or are in an interracial relationship
that you should ignore other people’s criticisms. Also, interracial
couples should advocate for reform in the way society typically views relationships.
Deciding who you want to begin a relationship with is a major decision.
The transition into adulthood is marked by independence and decision-making.
Hopefully, these interviews and this web page will help make this transition
smoother for adolescents involved in (or thinking about becoming involved
in) an interracial relationship.
This interview provided information on how one family reacted to a particular
relationship. Your encounters may be different and your struggle
may be harder, but remember there is support and you are never wrong when
believing in love. Be honest in your decisions and always strive
for happiness.
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Interview 1
Interview 2
Interview 3