Interview 3

Interview Three
The following interview questions were answered by a woman in college. She is attending school as an undergraduate. She is no longer in the relationship.

What is your ethnicity?

I am a white female, and I dated a black male about 6 years older than me.

How long have you been together?

We are no longer together, however we dated for about 3 months. It was my first interracial relationship, however, it was not his first.

How did you meet?

He worked at the same place I was doing my internship over the summer.

How did you feel about interracial relationships before you got into one?

I never completely disagreed with interracial relationship, however, I never thought I would ever be involved in one. I come from a very traditional family, and it was always assumed that no one in my family would ever date interracially.
Now, I definitely agree with interracial dating. I feel race should not matter in any relationship. As long as you find someone who respects you and feels the same way, nothing should matter.

Did you come across any criticism from family or friends?

All of my friends were really cool with the relationship. Some of my friends, however, could not believe I would take home a black guy to my brother (my brother has strong feelings about interracial dating). When I did take him home, my Mom loved him and for the most part the rest of my family accepted him. My brother was not accepting, however, he talked to him and he never disrespected him. I never really talked to my brother about the relationship, because I figured nothing I said would change his mind. I felt really good though since I had the chance to show my family that I could break down the barriers.
When people did make comments, I stuck up for the relationship and myself. My attitude completely shifted and I felt as if I owed it to myself to show people race should not matter.
The only advice I can give is to follow your heart. If I didn't change my mind about interracial dating I would have lost out on the opportunity to meet an amazing person and a great friend. Believe me, I know how hard it is to bring someone home knowing they do not agree with the relationship. I chose not to let it bother me, because I felt it was anybody's lose who didn't want to get to know him.
For suggestions on how to talk to your friends and family about your relationship see our Discussions page.

Did you notice any social criticism or pressures?

I tended to not notice by choice. However, we often got stares from people in restaurants or stores. He does not care what people think, and neither do I.

Any problems with your partner's family?

I never met his family, however, he often said his family had no prejudices about interracial dating.

Discussion
Interracial relationships can be difficult especially when you are meeting your partner's family. This interview showed how some family members may be inclined to accept your relationship partner while others may not. The transition into a relationship can be difficult one when family members are opposed to the relationship. There are many organizations and websites that are interracial relationship friendly. You can visit our Organization and Information page for some of these sites.

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