What is your ethnicity?

• I am a white female

• My partner’s ethnicity is African American

• We were together for 2 1/2 years

• We dated and were pretty serous

• My partner and I met in high school and began dating our senior year

• Even before I was in an interracial relationship I was fine and very accepting of any interracial dating or marriage.

• today I think that interracial relationships are wonderful and natural and I am much more aware of those who are in an interracial relationship, and realize how much they go through to be together.

• I encountered no criticism from my friends or family however, his family was not so accepting.  His family (particularly his father) felt that he should only date African American women.  His friends and family felt that I was just a phase that he was going through and eventually he would "come around" and realize that he really did not have anything in common with a white women and our relationship would end.
• Typically, African American males are most accepting of interracial relationships.  For current statistics see Paper One.
• For suggestions on how to talk to your parents and peers visit our discussions page.

• I was uncomfortable around his family for a period of time and was sometimes uncomfortable in public.  We often got stares and dirty looks form both white and black people.  He noticed white people giving him dirty looks while I noticed black people giving us looks. I often felt like I was not good enough for him when I was around his family and come of his friends.  After about a year his family realized that this was not just a phase and that he was serious about me and that we really cared about each other.  His family eventually started to look at me like a person and learn about who I was and what I was interested in.  However, before this time I just was very nice and polite to them even though I knew that they made it clear that they did not approve of our relationship.  They eventually could not deny that I was not a bad person and once they saw that I had a positive influence on his life they opened up and started to accept our relationship.

• The problems that I encountered did affect our relationship.  We sometimes avoided going out because we just did not want to deal with the public's attitude toward us.  We were very happy with each other however, did not want other people to bring us down.  We tended to hang out with our friends who did not have a problem with our relationship or just stay at home and be with each other.

• I handled the situation with his family and friends by just being myself. I tried not to talk bad or complain about his family or friends to him because these people were very important to him. I did not want to make the situation worse by complaining about it all the time because I knew there was nothing he could do about it.  They were going through changes and adjusting to his relationship just like we were.  I hoped that eventually they would see me as a person and judge me by who I was and not just by the fact that I was white.  I tried to understand what they were going through and hope that at some point they would try and understand what I was going through.  I was lucky enough to get past the color barrier with his friends and family but it took time.
• For information on supportive organizations, visit our Organizations and Information pages.

• To any young person entering into a interracial relationship I would say go for it.  This relationship will teach you a lot about yourself and the world around you.  Be patient if you really care about this person, even though it is SO hard at times and you just want to yell at everyone to get over themselves and realize that people have things in common no matter what race you are.  Try and understand that people have different experiences that make them the way they are.  I as a white person I cannot understand what it feels like to be a minority and always noticed for the color of your skin. It was hard for me to accept the fact that this world is based on colors. Through this relationship I realized what it felt like to be judged on the color of your skin and what it must feel like to be judged that way every day.  I tried to understand why his family would feel they way they did but I did not make excuses for why they treated me the way they did. It is hard but it is worth it!!!

        This interview indicates that each interracial relationship is different and they do not follow one pattern.  The tranisition into adulthood involves dating and there is rarely an example of interracial dating.  The issues that this individual has to deal with are not common amoung all relationships.  Hopefully, one can identify with her experiences and will benefit from reading how she handled the situation.