What is your ethnicity and the ethnicity of your partner?

• I am Black (female), my husband is White (male).

• We have been together for ten years (since 1990).

• We were married in 1999.

• No.

• I was indifferent about them.

• The same as before – people are people, no matter what their ethnicity.  My husband and I have been together so long, ethnicity doesn’t matter.

• No, not at all.  All of our friends are of various ethnicities and we like it that way.  They love us.

• I told my family that I was in love with a wonderful man and that he was in love with me, and they wished us well.  No one ever asked about his ethnicity and it was never discussed after they met him in person, it didn’t matter to them. Our family members and friends know my husband and me well, and strangers quickly discover that we have no tolerance for anyone telling us how to live our lives or whom we should love.  We immediately dismiss anyone who tries to affect our happiness in any way.
• I would suggest that people entering interracial relationships treat the situation just as they would any relationship that could possibly develop into something serious.  The real foundation of a successful relationship is based on how compatible the two people are as people.  The two people should consider each other’s maturity level, personality, and whether that person is a responsible person (e.g., has a job, can support themselves, pays bills on time, etc. – “real world” issues).  It doesn’t matter what color you are when the mortgage is due, the bills need to be paid, the laundry needs to be done, and food needs to be put on the table.   Those are all generic human concerns that everyone has.
• For suggestions on how to talk to your parents and peers, see our Discussions page.

• No.  They love my husband and they love me.

• Not at all.  I think that some people blow the whole race/ethnicity issue out of proportion.  While there are differences between people of different ethnicities, I think personality differences are more important than ethnic differences in relationships.   If my husband or I have a difference of opinion, it’s a clash of personalities, not ethnicities.

• We haven’t experienced any societal criticisms or pressure, but I am sure that those things exist.  I don’t presume that everyone has had it as easy as we have and I am not oblivious to other people’s difficulties.  I’ve heard other people tell stories about their horrible experiences of people making snide remarks or family members ostracizing them, but we have never had any experiences like that.  I feel sorry for people whose families don’t accept their relationship.  But I feel that if the family members really loved the person and wanted them to be happy, the ethnic differences wouldn’t be an issue.  In fact, the ethnic differences would be interesting and fun.  (People can learn a lot from each other.)
• Maybe my relationship with my husband and our experience as an interracial couple are anomalies, but they are ours nonetheless.   Maybe the lack of drama in our relationship is due to the kind of people we are; we live our lives quietly and we mind our own business -- people respect that and mind their own business in turn.   No one has ever said anything disparaging about us being together, but it really wouldn’t matter if someone did.  We don’t need anyone’s approval to be together; they don’t pay our bills or live in our house.
• Everyone has an opinion.  I think that if a person solicits advice from other people, they will receive suggestions that may be beneficial or detrimental.   Ultimately, it is up to the person to decide what is right for them. If the love is real and true, your heart will always know and lead you the right way.
• For information on how to contact support groups, visit our Organizations and Information pages.

    This helps adolescents that are thinking about being in an interracial relationship because this shows that not everyone faces problems with interracial relationships.  As Keeya stated she has never come across any social criticisms.  This suggests that society may be more accepting of interracial relationships and it is not as difficult for adolescents or anyone else to be in an interracial relationship.  She also stated that she does not feel any extra pressures for being in an interracial marriage.  This suggests that not every interracial marriage is faced with extra pressures.  This could help an adolescent that is thinking of being in an interracial relationship and realize that not every aspect of being in an interracial relationship is negative.  This is a positive view with positive outcomes from society and a long and serious relationship.