Abstinence By Sheila Shimko
What is abstinence? Abstinence is to do without something. One can abstain from a lot of things like drugs, alcohol, food and sex. The point of this summary is to discuss abstaining from sex. A lot of people have sex, but there are also a lot of people who choose to abstain from sex and wait until marriage. This has always been a large debate among groups of people for all times. One of the largest groups that support abstinence is the Catholic Church. They are probably the most well known advocators of abstinence. There are many things that people must know about abstinence so that they can make a good decision for themselves.
Deciding To Abstain
Making the decision to abstain from sex or to have sex is a very important decision. It is a decision that will affect the rest of your life and is a decision that should be taken very seriously. It is also very important to make sure that whatever you decide, your significant other will support you in your decision and will not pressure you into something that they want (Kid's Health, 2001). The decision to abstain can be made from your personal or religious beliefs. You may also make your decision based on what your family values are. Whatever your decision may be, you need to make sure that your decision is the best one for you and that you feel comfortable making this decision.
Pressures To Have Sex
Making the decision to abstain from
sex can be a very hard social decision to make. There is pressure
in the media for everyone to have sex. Sex is in movies, television
and on commercials. Pressures for sex is everywhere. It seems
that if you are not having sex, then you are just not cool. There
are also many peer pressures about sex. A lot of people feel that
if they do not have sex “just like everyone else” then they will not be
liked (Kid's Health, 2001). What is important to understand is that
your beliefs do not have to match those of your friends’.
What is important is that you decide
what is best for you. If you feel you need to have sex and that is
the right decision for you then that is ok. If you decide that you
want to wait until later on in your life or until marriage then that is
fine too. Any decision that you make is the right decision as long
as it feels right to you. “Having sex to impress someone or to make
your friends happy or feel like you have something in common with them
will not make you feel very good about yourself in the long run” (Kid's
Health, 2001). Being in college is an especially hard place to make
the decision to abstain. Most people in college have had sex (or
at least said they have) and it is hard to not be pressured into doing
something you do not want to do. Not to sound like an after-school
special, but be true to yourself and you will do well with all of your
decisions.
Why People Wait
There are many reasons why people wait to have sex until they are older or married. One of the key reasons may be religious beliefs. One's religion may have taught you throughout your life that abstaining from sex until you are married is the best and only way to go. If that is what you believe, then that is great. Another reason that people may wait is that they are worried about getting pregnant or contracting a sexually transmitted disease (Safer Sex, 1994). Abstinence is the only absolute guarantee from getting pregnant and contracting diseases, and this is enough to help someone make their decision (Safer Sex, 1994). Many people also wait because they feel that they would not be emotionally ready to have sex with someone until they are in a long-term or lifetime commitment to one another. This is also a great decision if it is how you feel. “Being a virgin is one of the things that proves you are in charge, and it shows that you are powerful enough to make your own decisions about your mind and body” (Kid's Health, 2001). That is a very important statement to take to heart. If you stay true to your decisions then it shows that you have great control over yourself and can stick to your own decisions.
Abstinence Education
There has always been a lot of debate
over sex education within the schools. A lot of people do not feel
that there should be any type of sexual education in the schools whatsoever.
Others, however, feel that there should be some type of sexual education
in the schools. Still others feel that there should only be education
about abstinence. Only teaching about abstinence makes up twenty-three
percent of sex education within public schools (ABC News, 2000).
This statistic was found in a study done by the Alan Guttmacher Institute
who did a survey of four thousand seventh to twelfth graders (ABC News,
2000). This study also discovered that sex education is less likely
to cover birth control, abortion, obtaining contraception and sexual orientation
than it would have in the late 1980s (ABC News, 2000). Among the
teachers that they talked to, they feel that children need to be taught
about sex at a younger age, and the abstinence-only message is not getting
through to students (ABC News, 2000).
In another study done by the Kaiser Family
Foundation, it was found that parents want their children to learn more
about sex in school than they do (ABC News, 2000). There are thirty
states that mandate that if sex education is in the schools, then they
must include lessons about remaining abstinent until they are emotionally
and physically ready for sex (ABC News, 2000). From these statistics
found, it appears that parents as well as teachers want their children
to learn more about sex within schools and that they also want them to
learn about remaining abstinent until they are absolutely ready for sex.
It seems that sex is all over the
place and that everyone does it. This is not the case. There
are many people who decide to wait for sex until they are absolutely ready
and married. The most important thing to remember when making the
decision about having sex or not is to do what is best for you and to not
let anyone influence your decision in any way. Listen to your heart
and do what you think is right for yourself.
References
ABC News. (2000). Leaving Kids In The Dark.
http://abcnews.go.com/sections/living/DailyNews/sex-ed000926.html
[2002, March 17].
Kid's Health. (2001). Virginity: A Very Personal Decision.
http://kidshealth.org/teen/sexual_health/guys/virginity_p3.html
[2002, March 17].
Safer Sex. (1994, Aug. 30). http://www.safersex.org/condoms/ss4.2.html
[2002, March 17].
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