Adolescence: Change and Continuity

Dating

When do kids start to date?

There is really no set time that kids begin to date, but there are certain factors which can contribute to the onset of dating in adolescents. The onset of puberty will heighten an adolescent's interest in the opposite sex. The beginning of dating, though, depends quite heavily on an adolescent's surroundings (neighborhood, school, socioeconomic status). Finally, as adolescent crowds begin to disintegrate couples begin to form (Dunphy in Elliot & Feldman, 1990).
 

What can adolescents gain from dating?

Adolescents can benefit in many ways from dating. Dating can help adolescents to

develop social and interpersonal skills with the opposite sex. It can also aid in finding and

testing different identities, by trying out personality traits in the context of separate relationships. An adolescent can establish social status with his/her peers through dating. Dating can also allow an adolescent to explore the process of beginning relationships as well as terminating them. Having a dating partner also provides companionship and sexual gratification (holding hands, having a dance partner, etc...) for the adolescent.

What harmful effects can dating have for an adolescent?

Dating may also have some harmful effects for adolescents. Early dating may lead to early sexual activity, which may occur before the adolescent is emotionally or physically prepared. In order to maintain a dating relationship adolescents could be forced to hide or disguise undesirable traits for their partner. In turn, one may forfeit their self-esteem and morals to achieve higher social status through dating. Also, disruptions in these initial relationships may lead to further problems. That is, adolescents that do not learn proper functioning in early relationships may develop later problems in dealing with the opposite sex.

How serious are primary relationships with opposite sex peers?

Dating can be an important vehicle for an adolescent to develop individual autonomy and development (Cooper, 1973). Relationships give adolescents room to express themselves without the influence of their same-sex peers. Adolescent dating is based more around experimenting with romantic feelings than around deep emotions of love or intimacy. In fact, the idea of having a date is often more important than the date itself. Furthermore, these adolescent relationships do not appear to be very stable. In fact, most adolescent relationships will not last a year. Of those adolescents going on to college, virtually none of their relationships last the transition from high school.

For Further Reading . . .

• Adelson, J., & Douvan, E. (1966). The Adolescent Experience. New York, New York: John Wiley & Sons.
• Cooper, J.J. (1973). Adolescence and Youth: Psychological Development in a Changing World. New York, New York: Harper & Row.
• Elliot, G.R., & Feldman, S.S. (1990). At The Threshold: The Developing Adolescent. Cambridge, Massachusetts: Harvard University Press.
• Grinder, R.E. (1978). Adolescence (2nd ed.). New York, New York: John Wiley & Sons.
• Kimmel, D.C., & Weiner, I.B. (1985). Adolescence: A Developmental Transition. Hillsdale, NJ: Lawrence Erlbaum Associates.

Last updated 4/16/01.