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8 Alcohol & Substance Abuse

Alcohol and other substance abuse is a significant problem on college campuses. Many students experiment with their newfound freedom by using alcohol and other chemicals, but many find it difficult to control their use. Just at the time that many students are endeavoring to improve their lives by gaining an education, many are beginning or exaggerating a severe alcohol or substance abuse problem that may ruin their chances of an education and/or career of their choice. If you picked up this fact sheet, then either you or someone you care about may have a problem in this area. It is never too soon to do something positive about it.

 

How do I know if I'm abusing substances?

  • increased frequency of use
  • loss of control over frequency, duration and/or amount of use
  • drinking or using when you don't intend to
  • substance use interferes with life activities (i.e. school, relationships with family and friends)
  • increased spending money on substance of choice
  • personality changes noted by self and others
  • getting into risky/dangerous behaviors
  • other people express concern about your use/ your behavior
  • grades dropping
  • missing classes and appointments
  • legal trouble (i.e., DUI)

 

When chemical abuse becomes severe...

  • loss of friends (except perhaps other chemical abusers)
  • negative changes in appetite with possible weight loss
  • possible reduction or loss of libido (sex drive) …and/or only able to perform when using
  • extreme mood swings, including anger and depression
  • obsessions about using or procuring substance when not under the influence
  • lying about substance use to friends and loved ones
  • loss of memory for times when under the influence
  • uncomfortable withdrawal symptoms when not using
  • involvement in crime to support habit
  • loss of energy and general health
  • you are increasingly unable to believe your own denial and excuses

 

How can psychological therapy help?

  • help clarify your pattern of abuse
  • identify how your life has been affected
  • help create strategies to decrease your use
  • identify related issues that may contribute to your abuse
  • if necessary, referral to more intensive treatment resource

 

Frequent use and abuse of substances can have a serious effect on one's academic and personal lives. If you think that you are having difficulty controlling your use of alcohol or would like to talk to someone about your use. Please contact the Oberlin College Counseling Center. The staff provides timely, confidential, and professional assistance for Oberlin students. The Counseling Center is open Monday - Friday, 8:300 a.m. - 4:30 p.m., with the exception of the noon lunch hour. 247 West Lorain Street, Suite D, 440-775-8470.

 

Othe helpful resources on the Internet:

 

 


8 Biofeedback

 

 

Biofeed back is a procedure in which biological information is measured from the body of an individual and then presented ("fed back") to the individual. Until recently, we have not been able to measure things going on inside the body in a sensitive and accurate way that would allow us to control these processes. Now that is possible, usually through the use of electronic instruments.

Once you can "see" what is happening inside the body in an immediate and continuous way, it is possible to control it. So far, nothing that can be observed in this way is impossible to control, from a single motor neuron (the nerve cell that controls a muscle fiber), to processes such as circulation or secretion of stomach acids. There is nothing mysterious about this. Everything that we learn is learned through feedback, from the time that we first find our mouth with our hand as a baby. Biofeedback simply involves applying these same learning processes that we use in putting on makeup or driving a car to inside-the-body events. It is "mind over matter," but in that it is no different than our filling a glass with water--that also is mind over matter.

Above text courtesy of Life Sciences Institute of Mind-Body Health



Other helpful resources on the Internet:

 

 

8 Bipolar Disorder

Bipolar disorder, which is also known as manic-depressive illness and will be called by both names throughout this publication--is a mental illness involving episodes of serious mania and depression. The person's mood usually swings from overly "high" and irritable to sad and hopeless and then back again, with periods of normal mood in between.

Bipolar disorder typically begins in adolescence or early adulthood and continues throughout life. It is often not recognized as an illness, and people who have it may suffer needlessly for years or even decades.

Effective treatments are available that greatly alleviate the suffering caused by bipolar disorder and can usually prevent its devastating complications. These include marital break-ups, job loss, alcohol and drug abuse, and suicide.

Above text courtesy of the National Institute of Mental Health

 

Other helpful resources on the Internet:

 

 

8 Eating Concerns

Not all eating concerns or problems are eating disorders. Many people experience difficulties with eating and/or body image at some time in their lives. They don’t or can’t eat enough. They eat too much. They don’t choose nutritious foods. They don’t like the size or shape of their bodies. Living in our culture, many of us have some concerns about food and body image-related issues. These are generally normal, everyday concerns. If eating or body image attitudes and behaviors are affecting mental and physical well-being, however, assistance and support may be helpful.

Attitudes and behaviors that MAY be of concern:

Skipping meals.
• Avoiding eating meals or snacks when around other people.
• Constantly calculating fat grams and calories.
• Weighing yourself often and being obsessed with the numbers on the scale.
• Self-esteem being dependent on size or weight.
• Exercising because you feel like you have to, not because you want to.
• Being afraid of gaining weight.
• Feeling out of control when eating or exercising.
• Eating patterns that include extreme dieting, severely limiting foods eaten,
   withdrawn or ritualized behavior at mealtime, or secretive bingeing.
• Weight loss, dieting, and/or control of food becoming a major concern.
• Feeling ashamed, disgusted, or guilty after eating.
• Worrying about the weight, shape, or size of your body.
• Feeling like your identity and value are based on how you look or how much  you    weigh.

Just because you weigh yourself, skip meals, count calories, or exercise too much doesn’t necessarily mean that you need to seek assistance. Sometimes, however, a person’s attitudes about food, weight, and body size may jeopardize health, happiness, and even safety. If you are concerned about a friend’s eating behaviors, or your own, that is a signal to seek help from a counselor.

The staff at the Counseling Center can work to help you understand and cope with many of these thoughts, feelings, and behaviors. You may feel relief and ease just from talking about them. Eating concerns and problems are issues that can get better. Asking for help and support is an important first step.

At Oberlin College, students, staff, faculty, and parents can turn to the Eating Concerns Resource Team for help. Comprised of the Counseling Center, Student Health Services, and Nutrition Services, the Eating Concerns Resource Team (ECRT) offers a coordinated effort of psychological support services, medical assessment, and dietary guidance to assist individual students in their journey to a healthier approach to food, exercise, and body image. The ECRT works to proactively influence the Oberlin College culture related to these issues by offering outreach programming, and through training and consultation to college staff. The ECRT also works as a consultation team to members of the greater Oberlin College community, including students, faculty, staff, and parents. To speak with a member of the team, contact the Counseling Center, Student Health Services, or Nutrition Services.

For more information:
(Note: Many of these resources address eating disorders, but the information is also relevant for less severe eating concerns and problems.)

 

Other helpful resources on the Internet:

  • Eating Disorders/Disordered Culture
    Sponsored by San Jose State University and University of California-Davis, this web site approaches the subject with first-hand accounts, descriptions of eating disorders, and a place for readers to share their own stories. It is linked to resources--local and national. They have also developed an art exhibit, "Eating Disorders in a Disordered Culture," which has received terrific publicity. See images of public art here. You can read and listen to accounts of people who have struggled with eating disorders. This is a powerful site—highly recommended.
  • Something Fishy
    This site has some interesting chat room activity, on-line support groups and discussion for just about any interest. Information about eating disorders, logo’d goods to buy, practical tips on getting through holidays and other stressful times, and other resources. A very interactive, helpful site.
  • National Eating Disorders Association
    Information on eating disorders, advocacy links, resources for the public and helping professionals, help for families, a place to speak out and share with other people struggling with eating disorders. You can create your own web page here. A good, general site.

 

Recommended reading:

  • Albers, Susan. (2003. Eating Mindfully: How to End Mindless Eating and Enjoy a Balanced Relationship with Food. Oakland, CA: New Harbinger Publications.
  • Cash, Thomas (1997). The Body Image Workbook. New York: MJF Books.
    Chodron, Pema. ( 2001). Start Where You Are: A Guide to Compassionate Living. Boston: Shambhala Books.
  • Dixon, M. (1996). Love the Body you were Born with: A ten-step workbook for women. New York: The Berkley Publishing Group.
  • Hirschmann, J. & Munter, C. (1995). When women stop hating their bodies: Freeing yourself from food and weight obsession. New York: Ballantine Books.
  • Kano, Susan (1989). Making Peace with Food: Freeing Yourself from Diet/Weight Obsession. New York: Harper and Row Publishers.
  • Roth, Geneen (1986). Breaking Free from Compulsive Eating. New York: Signet Books.
  • Roth, Geneen (1982). Feeding the Hungry Heart. New York: Signet Books.
  • Roth, Geneen, & Lamott, Anne. (1999). When You Eat at the Refridgerator, Pull Up a Chair. New York: Hyperion Books.

 

8 Eating Disorders

A prominent speaker in this area referred to eating disorders as the "feeling disorders" (Alicia Quintano, personal communication, May, 1997.) Some students come to college already using the way they eat as a means of coping with difficult feelings, and some develop eating disorders during their college years as a way of coping with the many stressors they are faced with in everyday life. Of course, there are many reasons why someone might develop an eating disorder, including difficulties with self-esteem, family problems, and issues related to body image.

Whatever the reasons behind them, bulimia, anorexia, and compulsive overeating, as well as eating disorders that don't fit these categories, are distressing to live with. People who binge, purge, compulsively overeat, undereat or starve themselves, compulsively exercise, find themselves thinking obsessively about food, their body size and shape, exercising, and other related issues, can feel miserable. The eating disordered behavior may bring a sense of shame and guilt, and often carries with it a tendency toward secrecy and isolation. Some people with eating disorders may feel quite depressed or anxious, have social problems related (or unrelated) to hiding a sense of true self from others, and find that feelings, thoughts, and behaviors related to the eating disorder interfere with academic performance and life at college, in general.

Eating disorders are also dangerous. A person starving her or his body may lose muscle, including heart muscle. Women may stop menstruating when underweight, which might lead to problems in reproductive health and bone density. Purging can upset the body's electrolytic balance, causing potentially serious heart problems, loss of tooth enamel, or serious intestinal problems. Not getting the nutrients necessary for good health, a student may develop dry skin and hair, experience hair loss, have brittle nails, and lack sufficient energy to function effectively in and outside of school. Eating disorders may also reflect underlying depression and anxiety; eating disordered behaviors often in themselves lead to anxiety and depression.

Treatment for eating disorders varies according to the severity of the problem and other personal and circumstantial factors. Initial and ongoing assessment of a person’s physical and psychological health is key. Many students with eating disorders should be examined by a physician for an assessment of their overall health. This is especially important because many of the potential health problems associated with eating disorders cannot be seen from the outside. A student may appear to be of average weight and look healthy, but still have health problems. Counseling, individual or group, and sometimes both, is very effective in the long-term treatment of eating disorders. Most students are able to maintain most of their usual activities while engaging in the healing process. In some instances, however, it can be helpful to take some time off from school for this. The staff of the Counseling Center is well trained in short-term individual counseling for students with eating disorders, and able to make appropriate assessments and referrals for further treatment where appropriate. A counselor can help a student decide on the best course of treatment to fit her or his individual needs.

At Oberlin College, students, staff, faculty, and parents can turn to the Eating Concerns Resource Team for help. Comprised of the Counseling Center, Student Health Services, and Nutrition Services, the Eating Concerns Resource Team (ECRT) offers a coordinated effort of psychological support services, medical assessment, and dietary guidance to assist individual students in their journey to a healthier approach to food, exercise, and body image. The ECRT works to proactively influence the Oberlin College culture related to these issues by offering outreach programming, and through training and consultation to college staff. The ECRT also works as a consultation team to members of the greater Oberlin College community, including students, faculty, staff, and parents. To speak with a member of the team, contact the Counseling Center, Student Health Services, or Nutrition Services.

 

Frequently Asked Questions

Q: I might want to begin counseling, but I’m afraid of what could happen. Will my counselor make me give up my eating disorder?

A: No. Except in an instance where a student appears to be at grave and immediate physical danger, the counselor’s goal for the student should not be that she or he give up the eating disordered behavior. More usual goals for counseling, which client and counselor would discuss and agree on, would be to get in touch with thoughts and feelings related to behaviors, come to understand the meaning of the eating disorder, increase self-awareness in general, enhance stress management and overall effectiveness in life satisfaction, and increase the range of coping strategies the student has to drawn on in challenging times. Control over the student’s behavior, related or unrelated to the eating disorder, rests with the student.

Q: What if I or someone I care about has a related problem that doesn’t seem like an eating disorder?

A: Not all eating problems are eating disorders. Many people in our culture struggle with issues related to eating and body image but don’t develop eating disorders. See our web page, “Eating Concerns," for more information about these issues.

Q: How do help a friend or family member with an eating disorder? Where do I begin?

A: Concern for a friend or family member with an eating disorder can be a very worrying and complicated issue. A good place to start is with some guidelines to clarify your concerns and a framework from which you can best express these, as well as to get some help and support for yourself. Read our web page “How to help a friend with an eating disorder” (under construction) to begin this process. We also invite you to call the Counseling Center office to speak to one of the staff about your concerns.

Q: Where can I get more information and resources about eating disorders?

A: The following is a list of Internet resources with helpful information on eating disorders, as well as other vehicles for expression and learning:

 

Other helpful resources on the Internet:

  • National Eating Disorders Organization
    Publishes a newsletter that gives a wide range of information, reviews books, has some interesting articles, announces conferences, etc. Student membership is $15. Diane Britt in the Counseling Center gets the newsletter, if anyone would like to borrow it.
  • Eating Disorders/Disordered Culture
    Sponsored by San Jose State University and University of California-Davis, this web site approaches the subject with first-hand accounts, descriptions of eating disorders, and a place for readers to share their own stories. It is linked to resources--local and national. They have also developed an art exhibit, "Eating Disorders in a Disordered Culture," which has received terrific publicity. See images of public art here. You can read and listen to accounts of people who have struggled with eating disorders. This is a powerful site—highly recommended.
  • Something Fishy
    This site has some interesting chat room activity, on-line support groups and discussion for just about any interest. Information about eating disorders, logo’d goods to buy, practical tips on getting through holidays and other stressful times, and other resources. A very interactive, helpful site.
  • National Eating Disorders Association
    Information on eating disorders, advocacy links, resources for the public and helping professionals, help for families, a place to speak out and share with other people struggling with eating disorders. You can create your own web page here. A good, general site.

 

Recommended Reading

  • Albers, Susan. (2003. Eating Mindfully: How to End Mindless Eating and Enjoy a Balanced Relationship with Food. Oakland, CA: New Harbinger Publications.
  • Cash, Thomas (1997). The Body Image Workbook. New York: MJF Books.
    Chodron, Pema. ( 2001). Start Where You Are: A Guide to Compassionate Living. Boston: Shambhala Books.
  • Dixon, M. (1996). Love the Body you were Born with: A ten-step workbook for women. New York: The Berkley Publishing Group.
  • Hirschmann, J. & Munter, C. (1995). When women stop hating their bodies: Freeing yourself from food and weight obsession. New York: Ballantine Books
  • Kano, Susan (1989). Making Peace with Food: Freeing Yourself from Diet/Weight Obsession. New York: Harper and Row Publishers.
  • Roth, Geneen (1986). Breaking Free from Compulsive Eating. New York: Signet Books.
  • Roth, Geneen (1982). Feeding the Hungry Heart. New York: Signet Books.
  • Roth, Geneen, & Lamott, Anne. (1999). When You Eat at the Refridgerator, Pull Up a Chair. New York: Hyperion Books.

 

 

8 Grief

When someone you care about dies, it is difficult to accept the fact it has happened, and to accept the accompanying feelings. For those who have never had someone close to them die, it is hard to know what to expect of the grieving process. The sadness of someone's death may bring up memories and feelings about a previous loss. Special days, such as graduation and anniversaries of the death, can make you more aware that someone is missing in a very poignant way.

The goal of the grieving process is learning to live with loss, which is a part of life. You do not forget the person who has died, nor stop loving him or her, but you can grow to accept the death and your feelings about it, and move on with your own life. Each person deals with loss uniquely, yet many experience similar initial feelings, such as sadness, loneliness, fatigue and numbness. In the case of death of someone you love, you may find the most difficult stage of grief will occur six months to a year afterward.

When the death is of a violent or sudden nature, anger, shock,and helplessness may predominate as the initial response. In circumstances where the death is the result of an accident, survivors and other may feel guilty and somehow responsible ("if only...").

When in mourning, behavior changes. Sleep can be interrupted or become prolonged. Normal eating patterns may change. Some people become forgetful and confused. Others withdraw from social supports and avoid all reminders of these who died. Thinking it will numb the pain, some individuals drink heavily and abuse drugs. Please note: if you have any pre-existing condition (headaches, diabetes, an addiction) this becomes your "weakest link" where the stress of the loss may strike and exacerbate the condition.

At many points after a loss, the grieving person can benefit from the support of others. Individual grief reactions can vary widely, not only from person to person, but also within the same person over time. Accordingly, friends need to be ready to accept and support the griever through a wide range of emotions.

 

Stages Of Grief

Throughout the recovery period people who are grieving will experience many reactions. Some of the following reactions may indeed be experienced many times:

  1. Denial, shock, numbness--reactions which distance the grieving person from the loss, thereby protecting him/her from being overwhelmed by emotions.

  2. Emotional releases--these reactions accompany realizations of different aspects of the loss, they frequently involve much crying and they are often important to the healing process.

  3. Reactive Depression--natural feelings beyond sadness (e.g., feelings of loneliness, isolation, hopelessness, self-pity) which occur as the person more clearly recognizes the extent of the loss. For many, reactive depression is part of the necessary internal processing of the loss which the grieving person must go through before reorganizing his/her life.

  4. Panic--feeling overwhelmed, confused, fearful, unable to cope, and even believing something is wrong with oneself.

  5. Remorse--following a loss (whether through death, relationship breakup or disability) a grieving person sometimes becomes preoccupied with thoughts of what he/she might have done differently to have prevented the loss or to have made things better. This can be helpful as the person tries to make sense out of his or her situation, but can also lead to unrealistic feelings of remorse or guilt.

  6. Anger--this is a frequent response to a perception of injustice and powerlessness. A significant loss can threaten the grieving person's basic beliefs about himself or herself or about life in general. As a result (often to the grieving person's bewilderment), he or she can feel anger not only at a person perceived as responsible for the loss, or at God or life in general for the injustice of the loss, but also--in cases of loss through death--at the deceased for dying.

  7. Need to talk--in order to recognize and come to terms with the impact of the loss, the grieving person may express feelings, tell stories and share memories, sometimes over and over with many different people.

  8. Physical ailments--in response to the emotional stress of grief, many people are more vulnerable to a variety of physical ailments over the six to 18 months following loss (e.g., colds, nausea, hypertension, etc.)

 

Ways to Cope with Death and Dying

Discuss feelings such as loneliness, anger, and sadness openly and honestly with other students, instructors and family members. Maintain hope. If your religious convictions are important to you, talk to a member of the clergy about your beliefs and feelings. Seek out counseling at the Counseling Center (775-8470.) There are professionals who are experts at helping individuals recover after a loss. Take good care of yourself. Eat well-balanced meals. Get plenty of rest. Be patient with yourself. It takes time to heal. Some days will be better than others.

 

How To Help A Person Who Is Grieving

  1. Take some kind of action. Make a phone call, send a card, give a hug, attend the funeral, help with practical matters (e.g., meals, care of children).

  2. Be available. Allow the person time so there is no sense of "urgency" when you visit or talk.

  3. Be a good listener. Accept the words and feelings expressed, avoid being judgmental or taking their feelings personally. Avoid telling them what they feel or what they should do.

  4. Don't minimize the loss and avoid giving clichés and easy answers. Don't be afraid to talk about the loss (i.e., the deceased, the ex-partner, the disability, etc.)

  5. Allow the bereaved person to grieve for as long or short a time as needed. Be patient, there are no shortcuts.

  6. Encourage the bereaved to care for themselves. They need to attend to physical needs, postpone major decisions, and allow themselves to grieve and to recover.

  7. Acknowledge and accept your own limitations. Many situations can be hard to handle, but can be made easier with the help of outside resources--books, workshops, support groups, other friends, or professionals.

Supporting a grieving person can also be stressful for the helpers; they need to take care of themselves while also attending to the needs of the grieving person. Since helpers themselves are often grieving, they may need to address their own healing process. This may include having the opportunity to express their own emotions and turning to other friends for support.


Other Resources On Campus

Friends, family, roommates, RD's, coaches and teammates can be important supporters. However, sometimes a person's pain is such that others can't bear to hear about it, or don't know what to say. If what you are experiencing is more than your friends can handle, know that there are other resources for you, as well.

If your religious convictions are important to you, spiritual support may be vital for you at this time. Seek out a minister to talk with. If you live in a residence hall, you may wish to speak with your Area Coordinator. The Dean of Students Office is also available to you.



How The Counseling Center May Help

The Student Counseling Center's staff are available to talk with you about your feelings and thoughts about someone's death. We recognize that losing a friend, teacher, or relative can be very difficult, and we would like to help. You can schedule an appointment by calling 440-775-8470 or coming by the Counseling Center, 247 West Lorain Street, Suite D.

 

Other helpful resources on the Internet:

  • Grief Briefs A collection of articles dealing with various aspects of grief and loss.
  • Ailing Mothers and Fathers (AMF) Support Network The only nonprofit organization dedicated to supporting college students with an ailing or deceased loved one, and empowering all college students to fight back against terminal illness.

 

 

8 Self-inflicted Violence

Self-inflicted violence has become an increasingly prevalent phenomenon in our culture, and one that many psychotherapists understand as a way, like eating disorders, for people to manage difficult feelings. Sometimes called self-injury, self-mutilation, or self-harm, self-inflicted violence (SIV) has been defined by one author as " direct, deliberate destruction or alteration of one's own body tissue without conscious suicidal intent." (Favazza,1992.) This can include cutting, burning, plucking hairs from the head or body, breaking bones, head banging, needle poking, scratching the skin or rubbing glass into the skin, or the repetitive rubbing of skin with a pencil eraser, among other methods. An estimated 2 million or more people engage in some form of SIV.

Self-inflicted violence often begins during early adolescence, though it is also practiced by people in their late teens, twenties, and thirties, and sometimes those who are older. It may begin in response to a particular stressor, like family discord or parents divorcing. In other instances, it is adopted as a means of making physical pain and visible scars for what previously was solely emotional and invisible. Self-inflicted violence is one way people may respond to the emotional pain of physical or sexual abuse. In some cases, it is a way of a person's creating feelings and staving off a sense of being empty, hollow, or deadened. The practice of SIV may temporarily create a feeling of relief, where feelings are let out, or of wholeness, where now feeling anything is part of the person's experience. Gaining feelings of greater control is also a reason given by people for their self-injuring. People who engage in SIV are often secretive about the acts, and may feel ashamed of engaging in self-harming behaviors.

Treatment for SIV is largely aimed at addressing underlying emotions. A therapist may or may not initially try to help a client interrupt the pattern of self-injuring behaviors, depending on their seriousness. In this sense, SIV deserves both long-term and short-term attention; that is, attention to what is going on right now and the ability to look at the big picture, including how SIV fits into the context and meaning of a person’s life. Many people who engage in self-injury find that, though they improve in therapy over time, it may be a number of years before the overt symptoms cease altogether. Medication is often helpful in supporting a person’s functioning in a better and more satisfying way, while concurrently working in therapy.

There are many resources for people who engage in SIV. The Counseling Center staff is knowledgeable and empathic about SIV, able to address it in individual, short-term counseling, and can make referrals for longer-term therapy, where appropriate. Area support groups or groups in the Counseling Center may be helpful as additional support for people struggling with self-inflicted violence.

 

Other helpful resources on the the Internet:

  • Self-Injury: You are not the only one
    A comprehensive site with information about SIV, links to other sites, including chat rooms, and many other resources for self-injurers and those who care about them. A good site, though with some technical problems.
  • Self-Injury: Inside Pain Turned Inside Out
    This web page is part of a larger site for figure skaters. Good information and helpful links, though many disruptive pop-ups.
  • Written in the Scars
    This web page contains a list of alternatives to SIV. A helpful, positive, but also understanding and realistic offering.

 

Recommended reading:

  • Alderman, Tracy. (1997). The Scarred Soul: Understanding and Ending Self-Inflicted Violence. Oakland, CA: New Harbinger Publications.
  • Chodron, Pema. (2001.) Start Where You Are: A Guide to Compassionate Living. Boston: Shambhala Classics.
  • Clarke, Alicia & Simpson, Carolyn. (1997.) Coping with Self-Mutilation: A Helping Book for Teens who Hurt Themselves. Rosen Publishing Group.
  • Favazza, Armando R. & Favazza, Barbara. (1992.) Bodies Under Siege: Self Mutilation and Body Modification in Culture and Psychiatry. Johns Hopkins University Press.
  • Miller, Dusty. (1995). Women Who Hurt Themselves: A Book of Hope and Understanding. Basic Books.
  • Strong, Marilee. (1998.) A Bright Red Scream: Self-mutilation and the Language of Pain. New York: Penguin Books.
  • Trautmann, Kristy & Connors, Robin. ( ). Understanding Self-Injury: A Workbook for Adults.

 

8 Sexual Abuse

Sexual abuse can be defined as any experience during childhood or adolescence which involves inappropriate sexual attention by another person, usually an adult, but sometimes an older child, teenager, or even a same-aged playmate. This attention might involve sexualized language, sexual touching, being forced to perform manual or oral sex on another person, oral, vaginal, or anal penetration, exposure to sexual behavior or to pornography. The behavior may be forced, coerced, or even willingly engaged in by the survivor, but is understood as abusive because a child cannot truly give free consent. Any activity that a person feels violates her or his boundaries may fall within the realm of sexual abuse. An estimated 17% to 22% of children experience some kind of sexual abuse.

Most people sexually abused as children experience some difficulties, as adults, related to the abuse. Problems can range from the absence of memories for a period of childhood, disinterest or excessive interest in sexual feeling or activities, fear of dating or close relationships, feelings of shame about the self, as though there is something inherently wrong or defective in the self, low self-esteem, body image distortions, dissociative experiences, depression, eating disorders, anxiety disorders, engagement in self-inflicted violence, and symptoms of post-traumatic stress disorder, such as flashbacks, hypervigilance, agitation, and severe trouble sleeping. A person may keep her or his experience of being sexually abused a secret, often ashamed and afraid to share this part of the self and the past with others.

Problems and symptoms associated with sexual abuse are responsive to many kinds of treatment, including individual and group counseling, and sometimes may be augmented by psychotropic medications to provide relief from intrusive symptoms. A central part of the healing for many survivors is found in a support group of other survivors where there is strength, comfort, and hope in hearing the stories of others who share this pain, and in being heard by those who empathize from their own personal experiences. Therapy is most often long-term, though short-term counseling can be a place to start to prepare for further therapy, to shore up coping resources to get through a difficult time, or in the brief transition phase of a referral process. These psychotherapeutic resources are available through the Counseling Center.

There are many other resources for survivors of sexual abuse. Bibliotherapy is a place many people start, and The Courage to Heal and The Courage to Heal Workbook are commonly used first books.

 

Other helpful resources on the Internet:

  • Sexual Assault Information Page
    A wide range of resources that include extensive information, lists of resources, personal stories, and links to other Web sites, including networks offering interactive opportunities for site users.

 

8 Sexual Assault

Sexual assault is any sexual activity experienced by an individual that is felt to be against her or his will. The perpetrator may be a stranger, a friend, an acquaintaince, a lover or partner, a family member, or other person. If someone feels assaulted, she or he has been, regardless of the "objective facts" surrounding the incident. Sometimes survivors of sexual assault will minimize their experience, particularly if they know the person involved, or if the incident is not perceived to be as severe as some they know about. In all cases, regardless of these factors, sexual assault can be profoundly disturbing to the survivor. It is common to feel that not only the body but the self has been violated. Survivors may feel ashamed, self-blaming and angry at themselves, dirty or disgusting, depressed, and anxious. It is usual to feel a profound loss of control. Sometimes a person may experience flashbacks of the assault or have nightmares about it. She or he may be afraid to be home alone or to go out alone, to return to the place where the assault took place, or to be anywhere the perpetrator may be seen.

It is very important that the survivor be in control of all that happens to her or him after an assault, toward regaining feelings of control over life circumstances. Toward this end, the survivor should be the person to decide what actions to take. These may include telling others, reporting the incident to security, the police, or a member of Residential Life, and finding help through counseling. It can be cathartic to talk to others about the experience, though certainly very painful at first. It can also be helpful to read about others' experiences or to read about sexual assault, in general, toward gaining more understanding of the process of personal healing each survivor will go through.

To reach the Lorain County Rape Crisis Center, please dial 1-800-888-6161 from any campus telephone, or 1-440-233-7232 from your cell phone. Ask for a rape crisis advocate. It's free, anonymous, and available 24/7.

 

Other helpful resources on the Internet:

  • Sexual Assault Information Page
    Extensive information and links to other sources about sexual assault. A place to ask questions and get feedback. SAIP is also an organization that publishes a newsletter.
  • The World Wide Web Virtual Library: Men and Abuse, Rape
    Information and Resources for male survivors of sexual assault and abuse, including extensive bibliographies, links to M.A.L.E. (an organization which helps boys and men who are survivors,) and a place to hear from and talk to other survivors
    via the Internet.

 

8 Sexuality

Late adolescence and early adulthood can be a wonderful time to explore oneÕs sexuality. It can also be a time of questions about sexual functioning, anatomy, physiology, and emotions related to sex, gender, sexual orientation, values, sexual politics, relationships, and more. When is the last time you were in a learning setting where the focus was on sexuality? If your answer includes a reference to your tenth-grade biology class, youÕre not alone. For most people, structured, open learning about sexuality is limited to a focus on basic anatomy and physiology, and on reproduction, and ends with high school. For most of us, though, learning about our own sexuality lasts a lifetime.

There are a great many subjects that fall under the general umbrella topic of "sexuality." These include sexual feelings, sexual development, self-pleasuring and masturbation, communication with a partner about sexual needs and desires and responding to your partnerÕs communications about those things, decisions about celibacy and abstinence, what is "normal" in terms of sexual function, including desire and response, sexual identity and sexual orientation, safer sex and being protected against sexually transmitted diseases (STDs) and unwanted pregnancy, alcohol and other drugs, and a lot more. Chances are, you have thought about some of these issues and learned varying amounts about them. There is always more to learn about sexuality, and everyone starts from where they are, now.

Where to continue your exploring and learning? For many people, reading can be a good place to start. ItÕs private, you can start wherever you are and go at your own pace, and explore the subjects that interest you. Consider some of the books and websites listed below, or do your own web, bookstore, or library search. (Most of the books and web sites listed below recommend other books and sites, as well.) Also check out Dr. CybervisorÕs web pageÑthe Counseling CenterÕs on-line, interactive web advisor. In the Dr. Cyberviser archives, there are studentsÕ questions on different aspects of sexuality in the identity, interpersonal, and relationships sections.

You might also consider talking to someone in person. To explore questions or concerns about sexuality, sexual orientation, gender, or any other related issues, it can be helpful to talk with a counselor. At the Oberlin College Counseling Center, the staff is knowledgeable and available to talk with students one-on-one. To make an appointment, call the office at x58470.

 

Other helpful resources on the Internet:

  • sexuality.org
    This site is sponsored by the Society for Human Sexuality, a social and educational organization whose purpose is to promote understanding and appreciation "for the many forms of adult intimate relationships and consensual sexual expression." The site includes an on-line library, reviews of books, videos, and other products, extensive information on sexuality, including those of interest to the GLBT community, safer sex information, and an interactive format that encourages questions and exploration. A recommended site.
  • scarleteen.com
    A sexual education site devoted exclusively to teens. This site is fairly comprehensive, and includes subsections on relationships, anatomy and physiology, reproduction, sexually transmitted diseases, safer sex, GLBT interests and concerns, sexual ethics and politics, and has message boards and links to other resources and web sites. A recommended site, even for those out of their teens.

The San Francisco Sex Information website
A very easy to use site which includes a weekly sex column, recommended books and websites, FAQs about sex, a search engine to find information by topic, and contact information to ask questions by email or toll-free number. A recommended site.

 

Recommended Reading

  • Hite, Shere (1976). The Hite Report: A Nationwide Study of Female Sexuality. Dell: New York, NY.
  • Hite, Shere (1981). The Hite Report on Male Sexuality. Dell: New York, NY.
  • Joannides, Paul. (2000). The Guide to Getting It On! (The Universe's Coolest and Most Informative Book About Sex.) Goofy Foot Press.
  • Kasl, Charlotte (1999). If the Buddha Dated. Penguin Books: New York, NY.
  • Kasl, Charlotte (2002). If the Buddha Married. Penguin Books: New York, NY.
  • The Writers at Nerve. (2003). The Big Bang: NerveÕs Guide to the New Sexual Universe. Plume.
  • Vitkus, Jessica and Ingall, Marjorie (1998). Smart Sex: Honest, Expert Information to Answer All Your Questions. Pocket Books: New York, NY.

 

8 Suicidal Ideation
How To Help the Individual At Risk For Suicide

Suicide is the second leading cause of death among college students. Suicides do not always happen as single events. In this section we provide some helpful information concerning suicide and ways to approach your suicidal feelings, or individuals with whom you are concerned.

The suicidal person is intensely ambivalent about killing himself/herself and typically responds to help; suicidal states are definitely time limited and most who commit suicide are neither "crazy" nor psychotic. High risk indicators include: feelings of hopelessness, helplessness, and futility; a severe loss or threat of loss; a detailed suicidal plan; history of a previous attempt; history of alcohol or drug abuse; and feelings of alienation and isolation. Suicidal students usually want to communicate their feelings and the inability to do so results in a rage or anger directed toward themselves.

The following can be associated with risk for suicide. In general, the more of these factors a student has experienced and the greater the severity, the higher the risk for suicide.

  • Has suicidal thoughts, plans and/or means.
  • Recent significant loss.
  • Failure to live up to their own or others' expectations.
  • Increased isolation/social withdrawal.
  • Inability to experience pleasure or have fun.
  • Alcohol/other drug use
  • Poor class attendance/poor academic performance.
  • Concerns about sexual orientation.
  • Change in personality.
  • Giving away possessions.
  • Sexual promiscuity.
  • Previous suicide attempts.
  • Feelings of hopelessness/despair.
  • Off-handed comments about not being around or about death.
  • Impassivity and/or violence.
  • See death as the only way to end their suffering.
  • Thoughts of suicide.
  • Appears to be in a fog.
  • Recent sexual assault.



What to Do If Someone You Know Expresses Suicidal Ideas

Take the feelings and statements of the individual seriously - 80 percent of suicidal individuals give warning of their intent. Don't minimize the situation or depth of feeling, e.g., "Oh it will be much better tomorrow." Acknowledge that a threat of or attempt at suicide is a plea for help. Don't be afraid to ask the person if they are so depressed or sad that they want to hurt themselves e.g., "You seem so upset and discouraged that I'm wondering if you are considering suicide." Be available to listen, to talk, to be concerned, but refer the student to the Counseling Center (775-8470). Don't over commit yourself and, therefore, not be able to deliver on what you promise. Don't ignore your limitations. Helping someone who is suicidal is hard, demanding, and draining work. Take steps to take care of yourself.



How To Approach a Person About Whom You Are Concerned

Express your concern to the individual and state the risk factors you have observed. Ask about the other risk factors. Ask about suicidal thoughts directly, and use the word suicide. This does not increase the risk of a suicide occurring. In fact, individuals are often relieved to have someone to talk to. Assist the person to find solutions to their problems other than suicide. Never agree to keep serious suicidal thoughts in confidence. It is important that an individual with serious suicidal thoughts meet with a counseling professional so the student can receive the support they need. Be supportive and follow-up with the individual.

If you or someone has suicidal thoughts or feelings, contact the Counseling Center at 775-8470, or contact an area coordinator in Residental Life and Services. The professional staff is highly trained and experienced in consulting with concerned others and counseling persons expressing suicidal intent. In addition to these resources, the Lorain County Mental Health Hotline is available for emergency assistance or consultation 24 hours a day, 7 days a week at 1-800-888-6161 or 1-440-204-4145.

 

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